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Question
Posted by: Anonimous | 2011/10/15

He cant live without battering me

Im 22 he''s 26 we''ve been together for 6yrs now& we have a 21months old son.he has this terrible anger that scares me2death.he gets extremely angry over things a normal human being wouldnt.he batters me and blames me for it.i once called a number of a girl i found on his fone,i didnt say anything rude to the girl but when he found out i called her he totally snapped at me,said i shouldnt go around calling people,just because we have a kid i think i have the right to call anyone.he made me feel like dying. Why is it so hard2walk away from this heartless guy,we have our romantic times but sometimes he tries to find reasons to insult me or hit me.he also bear grudges cause he sometimes brings up an old argument.talking to him is no option cuz im scared of him& scared2walk away.please help.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Battering a spouse is always totally unacceptable. And there are NO excuses for doing it, or for accepting it. Of course he can live without battering you or anyone else, but he doesn't choose to do so. Battering is never compulsory or unavoidable.
Sadly, the companions of such violent and cruel men, too often accept the blame nonsensically piled on them. and continue to maccept the abuse - which encourages the abuser to feel entitled to do it.
URGENTLY, contact one or more help groups like POWA that exist to help advise and support battered women and other battered people. They can help plan a safe way for you to leave, with the child, and to remain safe while obtaining legal court orders forbidding him from threatening you or coming near you again.
Of course, too, it is bad for a child to grow up knowing that Dad abuses and batters Mom, and to learn implicitly that this is how things are supposed to be. That may make it unfortunately easier for the child to grow into either a batterer, or someone who accepts abuse

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/10/16

Battering a spouse is always totally unacceptable. And there are NO excuses for doing it, or for accepting it. Of course he can live without battering you or anyone else, but he doesn't choose to do so. Battering is never compulsory or unavoidable.
Sadly, the companions of such violent and cruel men, too often accept the blame nonsensically piled on them. and continue to maccept the abuse - which encourages the abuser to feel entitled to do it.
URGENTLY, contact one or more help groups like POWA that exist to help advise and support battered women and other battered people. They can help plan a safe way for you to leave, with the child, and to remain safe while obtaining legal court orders forbidding him from threatening you or coming near you again.
Of course, too, it is bad for a child to grow up knowing that Dad abuses and batters Mom, and to learn implicitly that this is how things are supposed to be. That may make it unfortunately easier for the child to grow into either a batterer, or someone who accepts abuse

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