Our expert says:
She sounds too old ( in personality terms, and maturity, rather than just in calenday years ) for you, and too selfish and self-centred. At her age she probably doesn't have a great many options in relationships, and someone with army benefits and pension could be a desirable match.
But neither of you can or should ignore both your natural wish to visit your own family and especially to maintain some sort of relationship with your son.
For her to be laying down the law in such a rigid and dogmatic way, with so little respect for your wishes or the needs of your son, is inappropriate and selfish.
WHy does she worry about how to explain to her kids why Daddy is away at Christmas when it is entirely her choice that they are not with Daddy ? Why does she not worry about how anyone would explain to your son in SA why Daddy can't come to see him at all ?
Did her first husband die or divorce her ? The latter would be understandable if this is how she treated him.
Be very wary of marrying a woman who seems to love you much less than you love her, and who demands that your love must be exclusively hers, and not shaed with your son and your own family.
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