Our expert says:
There's nothing WRONG in wanting a baby with him --- and nothing WRONG with him not wanting one. He can't put into words why he doesn't want one --- Idoubt that you can put into words why you do. Its not about words.
You need to have a calm discussion with him ( with the aid of a family counsellor, perhaps ) about the daughter, Its confusing for a child to face different discipline rules and procedures, but it sounds as though he feel guilty about his divorce and thus hesitant nto give her the gift of discipline. What you describe as his behaviour, is an excellent training program to teach a kid to misbehave and become unrealistically selfish an with unrealistic expectations of the world, which will ultimately hurt her badly when she finds nobody else on earth signed on to Dad's over-indulgence plan.
He HAS to agree with you a reasonable set of rules and consequences for her behaviour when she visits, which BOTH of you must explain to her firmly, and apply identically. As Maria says, he needs to learn that applying no rules actually makes a child more insecure --- they can become actually frightened at their own power and lack of limits.
With a daughter like this, on could understand his hesitation about having another child --- and until he modifies his p[arenting skills, you wouldn't want to raise another monster, either. Family therapy / counselling would be the best plan
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