Our expert says:
Wll, at least, if it's one of "those" days, it's a long one !
Let's see. In life, we really can't control ( sometimes, perhaps influence, but not control ) what other people do - but we are in charge of what we choose to do. So we can decide to do the right thing and act kindly, whether or not the other person response appropriately. You don't need to choose to feel hurt if they don't respond well.
OK, so you seem to have a fairly unsociable sister who is REALLY bad at attending birthday and similar events. It might be polite to still ask her, but there's no need whatever to expect her to turn up. Apparently she's a disorganized and ungrateful creature. So be it.
But, like your older sister, she's an adult ( however childish in some ways ) and is fully allowed to make foolish decisions, and to live with their consequences.
Both opf them are responsible for their own happiness ( or unhappiness ) - not you. You can't make them happy or keep them happy, and they will resent it if you try to. You are responsible for your own happiness.
I'm not sure you're "the only one who cares", but the only one who cares in this particular way, who feels she has to take responsibility for what other people choose to do, and to try to organize them rather than letting them prosper or fail as they choose
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