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Question
Posted by: Bob' s Girfriend | 2008/08/04

Have you ever ?

Sent your child to school without porridge and tea?

I just deceided this morning Im not going to fight about it and if she does not want to eat I am no longer going to lick her arse to do so, so I sent her merily off without any brekfast!

I feel like a dog, I can only hope this works and tomorrow that she' ll eat it and have her tea without a fuss?

Regards

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Fighting about things like food and eating is not a good idea ( and may encourage the growth of some of the issues active within Eating Disorders, where Not Eating becomes a source of power and control ). Let her meet reality, and the natural consequences of her refusal to eat. She wont come to harm, and may learn a valuable lesson. This Anon seems to live in a diffeent world --- I'd call you a mother !

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Our users say:
Posted by: Snippie | 2008/08/04

I also disagree with Anon and JJ. What you did was right. She must learn that for all her actions there are consequences and if you rush to her with food, she will never learn. And you can' t FORCE a child to eat. How you gonna do that - thrust the food down her throat? And even if you do succeed in forcing her it will create problems now and later in life because it creates a negative connectivity to food.

I battle with my 3yr old son as well and all I do if he does not want to eat is leave the food and if he asks for biscuits or sweets or something else, I just tell him that he must eat his food before he can have treats. I know a lot of books and stuff tell you not to use treats as a reward, but if I give him what he wants every time, he will never eat any food. So I tell him that if he' s hungry for treats, he must be hungry for food first.

Reply to Snippie
Posted by: Zola | 2008/08/04

I don' t see what else the mom could have done. If the child refuses to eat what can you do, feed her with a pipe down the throat. Driving to school now is not going to make her eat if she doesn' t want to eat.

I also have kids and if they don' t want to eat I tell them to put the food away and I don' t have to tell them to take it again, their stomachs will tell them.

Reply to Zola
Posted by: Maria | 2008/08/04

JJ, I don' t agree. If you sent the child to school with her lunchbox like you usually do, then you don' t run after her with more food. That teaches her that she doesn' t ever have to take responsibility for herself, because mommy will always rescue her. Being a bit hungry never killed anyone, and a valuable lesson can be learnt that way.

Reply to Maria
Posted by: JJ | 2008/08/04

Come on are u a mother how many children do you have, its not your kids only my children do same . jump into your car and take foods to her school now

Reply to JJ
Posted by: S | 2008/08/04

I have exactly the same problem with my girl...she is 9 and refuses to eat in the mornings...i have begged her and explained to her how important a breakfast in the morning before school is but alas no.....She will eat a yoghurt in the morning before school but that' s it nothing more...have tried everything and also now given up hope...I make sure there is yoghurt in the house just so she can eat something before school...when she is really mad at me or she wakes up in a foul mood she just refuse to eat anything and goes to school on an empty stomach...

Reply to S
Posted by: Curious | 2008/08/04

Children often seem to use food as a tool to manipulate their parents. Although it is not ideal not to eat in the morning she is not going to starve to death just missing one breakfast. I would add a bit extra in her lunch box.
Ignore Anon - obviously is not a mother or if she is she had perfect children.

Reply to Curious
Posted by: ANON | 2008/08/04

U call yourself a mother?

Reply to ANON
Posted by: Maria | 2008/08/04

Good for you. It' s called reality discipline. If you don' t eat, you will be hungry. Why fight the child over something she can find out for herself in a very practical way? But yes, you do feel guilty, I think us moms are wired that way! Post to the parenting forum perhaps rather than here, you' re bound to get a very sympathetic audience there!

Reply to Maria

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