Posted by: G | 2011-07-02

Haunting past

I''ve been dicorced for 11 years, met a wonderful woman, have a child together and things are great. However, she seems to think I want the ex back. I have a child with the ex and everytime I mention the child I am aksed why I don''t go back to the ex since the only way my child can stay with me is when i take the ex back. It''s tiring and and has started to put strain on our relationship. How do you convince a person that the past is in the past , and although I cannot change it, and although my child with the ex is part of my past, present and future, it''s her (the new lady) that I chose to be with, and me missing my child does not mean I want the ex back...

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageDivorce support expert

Your new partner sounds very insecure and she shouldn't have trouble accepting your other child as part of your relationship. Her behaviour, although it is putting strain on your relationship, will also, in time, affect your child and be made to feel as though he is an obstacle in your relationship. If your attempts at reassuring her fail, you may want to encourage her to seek some counselling to address her insecurities.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Diane | 2011-07-02

G, from what I''ve read, your lady friend is insecure, she is showing jealousy and you must sort it out now before it gets out of hand she has to realize your little girl will always be in your life and don''t you ever give up on her, not to please this woman or anyone, she has to take a back seat when it comes to your daughter, I haven''t been through something like this, but I know a wonderful man who wouldn''t listen and through his new wife he has lost both his children, she pressurized him that he eventually fell for her trap and now he is so bitter because his kids want nothing to do with him......You are sharing a child with this woman she appears to be selfish, I feel for you my advice is sort it out now....Good Luck !

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