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Question
Posted by: Naz | 2010/10/25

Has the relationship reached the end?

Hi there. I need some advice...
I am dating my boyfriend for almost a year. We hav an awesome time together and always hav fun. I really do love n trust him with all my heart.
The problem is, he is an honours student so he has a lot of studyin to do... This means our relationship is not a priority. I feel like i am being timetabled in. We meet once a week. And speak daily for an hour. I tried my best to be supportive and understanding. And i have... I hav never complained. Except now i hav this unbelievable pain. I feel so hurt that i am not a priority in his life. I dont know how i can see past it.
Should i be patient and wait it out since the year is almost over? Wud things even change next year since he''l hav a job then?? Or should i focus on my needs instead and look for someone who has the time and effort for me?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Presumably success in his studies, and hence in his future career could be very important and beneficial for him, you, and the relationship - doe you feel you absolutely have to be the top, No. 1 priority at all times ? YOu say you feel pain for not being "A priority" in his life - but clearly, from your own description, you ARE "a" priority, just not the overwhelming priority at all times.
Many people maintain entirely satisfying relationships without being able to speak for an hour a day. And good grief, it's only going to last about a year ? Again, that's FAR better than the problems many other people triumph over.
It sounds as though you may have a really promising future together, unless you are so needy that you would prefer a relationship with a nobody who would have nothing else to do but massage your ego. You're not asking for someone "who has the time and effort for me" but for someone who has no time or effort for anything else. What a bore that bloke would have to be !

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3
Our users say:
Posted by: just a thought | 2010/10/25

there are 67 days left this year - 67 hours to speak and 10 dates.come on pull yourself together.

Reply to just a thought
Posted by: Whena | 2010/10/25

Stick around

Reply to Whena
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/10/25

Presumably success in his studies, and hence in his future career could be very important and beneficial for him, you, and the relationship - doe you feel you absolutely have to be the top, No. 1 priority at all times ? YOu say you feel pain for not being "A priority" in his life - but clearly, from your own description, you ARE "a" priority, just not the overwhelming priority at all times.
Many people maintain entirely satisfying relationships without being able to speak for an hour a day. And good grief, it's only going to last about a year ? Again, that's FAR better than the problems many other people triumph over.
It sounds as though you may have a really promising future together, unless you are so needy that you would prefer a relationship with a nobody who would have nothing else to do but massage your ego. You're not asking for someone "who has the time and effort for me" but for someone who has no time or effort for anything else. What a bore that bloke would have to be !

Reply to cybershrink

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