Our expert says:
Well said Liza !
Life is not fair, and never has been, and never will be. But on the whole it is enjoyable and worth working within its frameworks.
Nothing in life or anywhere else guarantees you a girl. Exactly why any individual pregnancy produces a boy or girl child is still not understood, but there are women who bear a dozen boys, or girls, or any combination thereof. Nothing you did affected the outcome.
The problem lies more in the realm of what we call an "over-valued idea", your assumption early on that only having a girl, and doing girly things with her, could bring you the ultimate happiness - its a fantasy that you believed in, and you feel disappointed because i didn't happen. In fact, you might have had a little girl and found to your amazement that it was sorely disappointing and not at all the way you imagined.
Life may not seem fair, but it is realisic, and what you imagined was not realistic. Tending to set aside everything that is good and fortunate in your life ( which you acknowledge is there ) to pine for one thing that didn't happen to match your imaginings, is a sure recipe for disappointment and feeling bad. Its like someone mourning because they never became a pop star.
Counselling, especially of the CBT ( Cognitive-Behaviour Therapy ) format, which specifically helps us to examine, evaluate and revise some of ones more unhelpful assumptions about life, could be very helpful indeed, and I strongly recommend it. You could learn to enjoy the life you have even more than you already do, and to stop allowing it to be tarnished by hankering after dreams that were never guaranteed.
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