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Question
Posted by: Van | 2011-09-14

H E L P !!

Dear Doc, i need some advise on howto cope. A month ago my only aunt died suddenly from cancer. Very unexpectedly and a huge shock to all. My sister has a health issue and requires an urgent hysterectomy, she does not have a job currently and has to go to a government hospital for the operation.
My mom is a 100% alcoholic. it got to the point where she looks very bad, she refuses help or going to a doctor, every day when i wake up i wonder if my mom is still alive. I am single and i dont really have anyone to talk to besides my boss. I have been coping up to now but i feel its getting the best of me, especially my mothers issues. I have been taking Cilift for the past year. Please give me some advise on how to juggle all these things, being alone and having to stay positive and concentrate on my job everyday.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Look after your own problems, and not everyone else's. Until you can be well and stable, and healthy, you can't be of real use to anyone else. Its sad about your mom, but until SHE acepts that she is alcohol;ic and needs help, and sincerely accepts expert help from the proper sources, nothing you can do would be useful to her.
Some of the facilities at some state hospitals are excellent. And your sister is likely to be much better after her hysterectomy.
Get involved in hobbies and pastimes, and make other friends, so you have others to talk to, about cheerful as well as serious things.
Cilift helps relieve a genuinely chemical depression, buyt no antidepressant helps solve psychological problems - for those you need counselling. Otherwise its like having a car that wont start, and deciding to remedy that by changing the CD player in it or the upholstery.
You can be cheerful and encouraging to your sister, but she needs to get the advice and operation on her own. Your mom may need to decline further into alcoholism until she recognizes the situation ; trying too hard to help her delays that and makes it easier for her to ignore the need for her to take personal responsibility.

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011-09-14

Look after your own problems, and not everyone else's. Until you can be well and stable, and healthy, you can't be of real use to anyone else. Its sad about your mom, but until SHE acepts that she is alcohol;ic and needs help, and sincerely accepts expert help from the proper sources, nothing you can do would be useful to her.
Some of the facilities at some state hospitals are excellent. And your sister is likely to be much better after her hysterectomy.
Get involved in hobbies and pastimes, and make other friends, so you have others to talk to, about cheerful as well as serious things.
Cilift helps relieve a genuinely chemical depression, buyt no antidepressant helps solve psychological problems - for those you need counselling. Otherwise its like having a car that wont start, and deciding to remedy that by changing the CD player in it or the upholstery.
You can be cheerful and encouraging to your sister, but she needs to get the advice and operation on her own. Your mom may need to decline further into alcoholism until she recognizes the situation ; trying too hard to help her delays that and makes it easier for her to ignore the need for her to take personal responsibility.

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