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Question
Posted by: Browny | 2009/03/24

Guys Why

I would just like to know something please. I have not been in the dating scene for 4 years and just last week i met this stunning guy. He said he liked me for me and accepted me the way i am. I am chubby but pretty. Then he called me on Friday morning saying that he would like to meet me at 14h30 so we made arrangements to meet. When i got to the restaurant it was 14h35 and i called his cellphone it was off but clever me i phoned his office and guess who answered but Mr himself. I asked where he was and he said no he was still at the office. I asked him if he didn' t at least have the decency to phone me and tell me he was not coming. Anyway after him begging and pleading he came to visit me at 19h00 Friday night with a huge boquet of red roses. We stayed in the whole evening till 24h00 and then he left. Strangely enough he said he was married with two kids but now divorced. His cell phone was not with him either but left in the car. Anyway on Sat he phones to say no he won' t be coming through because he has work to complete on sunday the same thing. I received a couple of sms and that but no phone calls. This made me suspicious that he was still married. I asked him the question and he said no. Yesterday was Monday and the smses flooded my inbox and i received email to prove to me he was working. I asked if i was maybe going to see him last night and he said no he was working and that the end of the project was no where in sight. I left it at that and then this morning at 5am i get a message saying that he only got home now from work. Is this possible and should i believe it or is it really just a facade and possibly wanting something on the side. This guy is 40. Please help!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Our users say:
Posted by: lady P | 2009/03/26

Renzi might have a point

tell him you want to come and see his place and see how he reacts (dont do this on the phone)

if he is hiding something he will definitely come up with excuses.......watever it is u guys are having (dating or exclusively in a relationship) its too early for him to be to busy to see you. when a man really likes you, he will no anything just to talk to you (phone not sms) and even see you, no matter how busy his work or life is.

looking at my past relationships, i realised most of the time my insticts were right but i neva listened until it was late, now if they talk i listen, no matter how much connection i have with a guy.

Good luck

Reply to lady P
Posted by: Browny | 2009/03/25

No Renzi i have not why.

Reply to Browny
Posted by: Renzi | 2009/03/24

Have you been to his house?

Reply to Renzi
Posted by: Really | 2009/03/24

Beauty is not about the outside, it is about the inside, and someone with genuine love will love you thin or not thin.

If it does worry you that much, you could also keep yourself occupied with some personal physical exercise, like take a walk, only if it is safe, or try going to the gym, if you are able to and soon you will feel better about it.

I don' t think there is anything wrong with being a little chubby as long as you are happy with yourself and are living a healthy life.

All the best

Reply to Really
Posted by: Soul | 2009/03/24

Thank you Browny that was very sweet of you to say, been a long time since I had a friend :o)

I think every pot has a lid we just have to find one that fits and hopefully soon.

Not thin no come now it' s not the ouside that counts it' s the inside but I do know what you mean, well rounded. Does he want a bomb shell by his side or someone who will treat him well.

Following your gut is easier said than done i know exactly how you feel and it' s sure is hard.

If I find him I' ll send him your way after I make sure he' ll treat you good and derseve to be treated.

Thank you

Reply to Soul
Posted by: Browny | 2009/03/24

Soul you sound like you could be my best friend. Whatever i am thinking inside you are putting into words. It is amazing really and like you say why do we have to worry about the petty things like will he pitch will he be on time and so on, i mean imagine if real issue have to arise. Strange but true. And most important like you say the Uncertainty is driving me nuts... I sometimes worry if it is not because i am not thin...

Really i think you are right i should just ignore this man and leave him and let him be on his own. Although i think him and the wife are still together anyways, I wonder if you could help in me finding that date that will make time for me and pitch up... Thank you all for your help.

Reply to Browny
Posted by: Soul | 2009/03/24

Browny, I hear you and second that. Things would be simpler and you could focus on the real issues and factors that do arise. The uncertainty and not being able to make dicisions drive me insane.

Reply to Soul
Posted by: Really | 2009/03/24

Browny,

There are no " good"  guys or gals, there are just guys and gals...I take it, it is all about how the two of you handle your relationship, your love for each other and your committment to each other. The respect, caring and the good behaviours is what counts... remember that even the so called ' Good Guys'  can turn bad in a split of a second....

Leave this scumbag of the earth and find someone who will pitch up when you have a date and who will make time for you and not be working all the time.

All the best.

Reply to Really
Posted by: Browny | 2009/03/24

Hi Soul,

I wish i could find the good guys, but like you say what hurts the most is the honesty factor. I can' t stand somebody lying to me and worst of all is that my instinct is telling me he is lying.. I wish there would be no games and if somebody does not like you then be honest from the beginning and not string somebody along. Its horrible.

Reply to Browny
Posted by: Soul | 2009/03/24

Browny, I have no idea where one can find the right guy. The bigger question to me is the why can' t they be honest and tell the truth, why all the games it comes back to you.

Reply to Soul
Posted by: Browny | 2009/03/24

Thanks to all who answered my question and i guess i should go with my gut feeling and instints because it is right i suppose. I just felt such a nice connection with this guy but i guess its best to call it quits now than later on i guess. Soul, Sounds Like and 2 cents worth thanks. But where do us girls find right guys. Soul i can really sympathisize with you because the feeling is bad.

Reply to Browny
Posted by: My 2 cents'  worth | 2009/03/24

Browny,
You are not " chubby but pretty" . You are pretty, period.
Trust your instincts, otherwise you' ll beat yourself up if you give him the benefit of the doubt &  later find out you were partially or entirely right. Don' t let yourself be in a relationship simply because you feel inadequate and accept breadcrumbs of his time for some or other reason when you deserve so much more. The fact that you' re questioning his behaviour means you know you deserve better. He doesn' t know you that well yet doesn' t have the decency to call and tell you he' ll be late. That, to me, shows an absolute lack of respect for the other person.

Reply to My 2 cents&#39  worth
Posted by: Soul | 2009/03/24

Only time will tell if he is being honest with you. I know things are tough I' m kinda in the same situation not knowing if his telling the truth or not. The thing is that his the only one who can truely answer your questions weather it' s the truth or not is another thing. With regards to his work he may not be lying to you he could very well be telling you the truth.

I know how you feel and there is no one that can answer your questions. All I can say is at this stage I' m listening to my head my heart and my gut and I know one of them is right I just don' t know which one it is. it' s very sad that you really want to believe but too afraid to.

Take Care

Reply to Soul
Posted by: sounds like | 2009/03/24

your suspicions may have basis in fact - he is too busy to be a free man. trust your instincts - they never let you down.

Reply to sounds like

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