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Question
Posted by: getting over | 2010/07/20

guy wants time to get over previous hurt

I have been seeing a guy for a month now. He did tell me about his previous relationship which he was in for 3 years.

he says he is crazy about me but something is missing. and he now realised he never dealt with the previous relationship ending.

he wants time to get her out of his system. he promised me he does not want her back and that there is no one else but he doesnt want me to be his rebound girl.

please tell me how to handle this. what is fair towards me and what is fair towards him. i believe he is the man I am going to marry and he believes that about me as well.

i would prefer to chat about this face to face though with him.

I do not want anybody else.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

If you read back in the forum, this sort of issue is really so common. That's why I routinely warn people be VERY wary of plunging into relationships when you or the other person have not yet finished geting over a previous bad relationship and painful break-up.
Rebound is usually a real problem. So its probably best to accept what he now suggests, as its unlikely to go happilly for you if you both try to proced now.
Neither of you is being wise or likely to be correct in insisting, having known each other for only a month, that you MUST be the only possible partner for each other and MUST get married.

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/07/20

If you read back in the forum, this sort of issue is really so common. That's why I routinely warn people be VERY wary of plunging into relationships when you or the other person have not yet finished geting over a previous bad relationship and painful break-up.
Rebound is usually a real problem. So its probably best to accept what he now suggests, as its unlikely to go happilly for you if you both try to proced now.
Neither of you is being wise or likely to be correct in insisting, having known each other for only a month, that you MUST be the only possible partner for each other and MUST get married.

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