advertisement
Question
Posted by: Punisher | 2011-10-04

guilty and ashamed

I broke up from an emotionally draining relationship a couple of months ago. My ex had lied to me about another woman with which he had a baby. She swore at me and called me a " crazy bitch" . I reacted by saying nothing and kindly leaving.
Days later i sent him a message saying that i forgive him and that doesn''t mean I''m forgetting or getting back with him.
He replied and we decided to be friends and communicated via Facebook. it happened that we met again in person just to discuss how life is. He''d often get me stuff, but i told myself i couldn''t trust him. A few months later we met again and he asked me to kiss him I stopped. That''s when we slept together again and decided that we''ll keep seeing each other to do the activities we once did together. Told me he was sorry and all, but i had a gut feeling that he was lying. A day later i noticed he had deleted me from Facebook. his baby''s mom was there posting comment such as " I''m fought with my man ova some-|-face who went all mad about him" . i want to move on that''s what i keep telling myself. i want to live a life free from all of this drama and i feel guilty and also my chest is heavy because i know i brought this upon myself.

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I wish people wouldn't be encouraged to "forgive" unforgiveable behhaviour in others who don't repent or even recognize that they did wrong - it only encouages them to do worse. As your sory proves.
After what you describe, trying to be friends might not have been a great idea. Then sleeping together, and then basically resuming the earlier relationship as though nothing had gone wrong ?
Yes, you brought this on yourself, but now is the time to definitively move on and leave him behind in your dust - cut him from facebook and delete your links to his page. Don't call him or contact him at all, and ignore any attempts he might make to contact you. If you physically run into him again ( hopefully NOT while driving a vehicle ) just say with calm dignity that you found he was still lying to you and still committed to the other woman, and have decided you will have nothing more to do with him, and will leave him and her to try to be happy together.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

2
Our users say:
Posted by: Caro | 2011-10-05

Be kind to yourself. Give yourself time to get over the heartache. You made a mistake - we all do sometimes and we are fallible. You will be feeling better some day. With each day that passes you will move further from the pain and smile a little more genuinely. Seek for happiness in little things. Take pleasure in friends and good uplifting music. " No heartache is ever trivial and one seldom forgets. But there must be an end to mourning and time is the ally"  - unknown
Move away from the negativity of those people who added to your heartache. Stay off facebook - there are too many silly people posting stuff that really should remain private which just adds to heartache when it does happen - I mean isnt it bad enough that a realtionship ends now people still have to change their status from ''in a relationship'' to ''out of a relationship''. I mean, whose business is that anyway! Fighting over a man is hardly anything to be proud of and only a sick person would broadcast it to the world - what if she applies for a job and her possible employer sees that?

Good luck. Anyone who doesnt want to be in your life does not deserve to be in your heart.

Reply to Caro
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011-10-05

I wish people wouldn't be encouraged to "forgive" unforgiveable behhaviour in others who don't repent or even recognize that they did wrong - it only encouages them to do worse. As your sory proves.
After what you describe, trying to be friends might not have been a great idea. Then sleeping together, and then basically resuming the earlier relationship as though nothing had gone wrong ?
Yes, you brought this on yourself, but now is the time to definitively move on and leave him behind in your dust - cut him from facebook and delete your links to his page. Don't call him or contact him at all, and ignore any attempts he might make to contact you. If you physically run into him again ( hopefully NOT while driving a vehicle ) just say with calm dignity that you found he was still lying to you and still committed to the other woman, and have decided you will have nothing more to do with him, and will leave him and her to try to be happy together.

Reply to cybershrink

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
advertisement