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Question
Posted by: Flower 1980 | 2010/03/16

Guilty

Ok I know I am guilty. I had and on and of affair for the last 4 years. Seriously started seeing my lover for the last year now.I hlove him very much and he loves me. My soon to be ex husband was never there for me, he abuse me twice in the 7 years that we were married. He drank heavy even during the week, he used to sleep out over weekend and then I should just be happy if I see him on a sunday, since friday morning. For the last 3 to 4 months hubby and I have beeen sleeping in different room, that didnt work cause we still fought alot to an extend where it would become physical. He was never there when I needed a husband. I stop loving him along time ago and lost all respect for him. I am young and didnt see myself sitting with an alcoholic for the rest of my life. And it was''nt a life for my 6 year old son. So now I have moved out, started divorce procedings and Now he wants to change. Its to late now. But why do I feel sad. I know I don''t love him enough to make it work. I just spoke to him now, about the divorce and he aounds so sad. I feel unhappy that I am hurting someone. I am happy I am away from him, cause I know it will never work, cause I am inlove with someone else. How do I get over this guilt. Is it my fault my marraige failed. I mean I did my duties everything. I wish to God that I could love him, but I can''t. I wish I had the respect for him, but I don''t. His depress, I''m sad cause I''m hurting. I really wished I loved him, maybe I neve did. Now that we are getting divorce it looks loke his family has aslo turned against me. Shoul I go for counseling

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

You didn't decide to hurt someon - a problem arise between the two of you, for which he may have ben mainly responsible, and the separation may in the end cause less hurt than trying to continue. Yes, indeed, DO see a counsellor

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2
Our users say:
Posted by: Bongi | 2010/03/17

I don''t know hey - every situation is unique. But what I can tell you from my own experience is that after I filled for divorce and moved out I also felt guilty. His family also hated me for filing for divorce. So I went back because I was hurting so many people and he was promising to change. But I tell you - it got so much worse. I was at his mercy now because I was admitting guilt. He even started cheating with school girls in front of me.

So for me - going back was the worst mistake of my life. I am doing so much better without him. Even making progress in my career.

Reply to Bongi
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/03/17

You didn't decide to hurt someon - a problem arise between the two of you, for which he may have ben mainly responsible, and the separation may in the end cause less hurt than trying to continue. Yes, indeed, DO see a counsellor

Reply to cybershrink

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