Posted by: Guilty..... | 2009-05-13


I am going to try and keep it short as possible. Was married for two years after knowing my wife 13 years, had a child and she is now 9 years old. Had a party 2 years ago and me and my wife had a three sum with some other girl. I fell in love with that girl and divorced my wife because I was never really happy with my wife anyway. Me and the new girlfriend started seeing each other but then I started getting guilt feelings for what I did towards my wife and child, I wanted us to just get along and be normal with each other as my girlfriend said that I was never allowed to speak to my ex wife ever again, only on email, and sms’ s. I started lying to my girlfriend from time to time and did chat to my ex wife because I wanted her to accept everything that has happened and be happy for me and I just wanted to chat to her about the child from time to time. My girlfriend is very clever and knew I spoke to my ex wife because the guilt was written on my face every time I walked in the house. I started to ask my girlfriend that we need to sort out this hate feelings towards my ex and my ex to you because we are adults now and we need to get along. I have tried to tell my girlfriend so many times that I love her and only her and the thing between me and my ex is just there because of our child. My girlfriend says that it is nonsense and that she doesn’ t want me near my ex and even if she just calls and I don’ t tell her then she is out.. It scared me because all I wanted was a good and friendly relationship with myself and my ex wife, but my girlfriend said no, she will never accept it. My ex wife has found a another guy now and they are happy and the guy lets my ex speak to me when ever she wants but my girlfriends says that I am just one big loser and lie’ r and now we have broken up, because I kept information away from her about talking to my ex wife. She says it’ s because of how we met and she doesn’ t trust me and my ex wife talking, but we have a child together and that is the only reason why I wanted a friendlier and happier relationship, with my ex is because it has been 2 years now of none stop fighting between the ex and my girlfriend and I can’ t handle the tension anymore. I just want us all to get along. It is not nice dropping of my daughter on Sundays and the minute the gates opens then I must speed away because the girlfriend doesn’ t want me to even see my ex wife. I love my girlfriend very much and we have now broken up and I am in so much pain that I just want to die.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Your girlfriend sounds like a very uinpleasant person --- she was happy to break up your marriage and ignored any effect this might have on your child, and then for bids you to speak to your ex, even if it's about the child ? And though you were not allowed to speak to your ex, the gf was happy to quarrel with your ex ? Frankly, I don't see how this gf's leaving is any great loss to you. Sounds like the sort of woman happy to break up someone else's marriage or relationship, but who then judges everyone else by her own low standards, and expects them to do what she did. You haven't described anything about her that deserves to be loved.
Don't allow yourself to be crushed by her again selfish behaviour. See a counsellor if necessary, even chat with Lifeline ( number on this page ) but don't asume you have lost any significant chance of love. Maybe you loved her, but what she did in both instances, was not loving behaviour except for self-love

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Guilty..... | 2009-05-13

Yes I probably do deserve it as I was thinking with my other head, but two years have past and now I am alone in the dark, but still love my girlfriend and want her back.

Reply to Guilty.....
Posted by: Anonymous | 2009-05-13

Serves you right. You left your wife for a tart you met having a three some. Serves you right.

Reply to Anonymous
Posted by: Guilty..... | 2009-05-13

To Cybershrink:
Since we started seeing each other “ new girlfriend”  she always claimed that she never wanted to be with me and I did all the pursuing which is 100% correct, and we also broke up 4 times and got back together because we fought so bad about everything that it forced me to chase her out of the house and made her move down to her parents… … . I know this is not right from myside but I really tried to explain it to het to the best of my knowledge how I feel and when ever I couldn’ t then things would really get nasty… .. I did say bad things to her yes, but I was just so frustrated because I couldn’ t get through to her with what I am saying and trying to explain, and now today she says that she deserves a better man that can treat her nice, because I am “ Albino”  according to her brother and I am a huge lie’ r, but yes in my heart I know that I am a good guy why can’ t she just see my side of anything. It has been 6 weeks now and my girlfriend wants nothing to do with me, and I miss her so much and pray that she will forgive me and just come back to me. She was a soft and caring person, but never wanted to hear anything of how I felt about a few things that would have made me happy. She always says that I want things my way and never take her feelings into consideration.

Reply to Guilty.....
Posted by: Liza | 2009-05-13

The subject of your post shouldn' t be ' guilty' . You have absolutely nothing to feel guilty about!

Its impossible to NOT speak to your ex since you have a child together. The girlfriend has to accept that.

Try not to feel broken up about the break up with the GF. I believe that it is for the best. If you have issues with the breakup, go for counseling to go on with your life.

Good Luck

Reply to Liza

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