Our expert says:
One must ALWAYS be suspicious when a married person tells you such convenient stories about the marriage, when persuading you to have an affair with them. The ages of the kids are irrelevant in deciding about a divorce - and would be a reason AGAINST an affair, not for it.
So, he was a cheat and a liar, to her and to you - blame him, appropriately for what he did, and don't be so hard on yourself. But why on earth would you for even a moment think of remaining with him ?
Of course you were right to leave him, and there is nothing more worth saying to him. Only he and his wife can fix this mess - its not up to you. If she does not want to reconcile with him, that's understandable, and one should respect her wishes. If he doesn't want to reconcile with her, that's odious and selfish of him. The more firmly you ignore him now, so he is qite sure you will not take him back, the more he might think of at least how best to treat his wife kindly and considerately at last.
What happened you understandably regret, but it was not really your fault, and was surely very much his fault.
See a counsellor to sort out any turmoil in your own life, and leave him to clear up the mess he has made in his - you can't do that for him.
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