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Question
Posted by: Concerned | 2011-06-27

Grossly obese and concerned nned help

Dear Dr Diet,

I am a very concerned wife who has a husband that has been overweight for a long time. While we were on a medical aid to afford for him to go to a dietitian it sort of went well, but then it went pear shaped and currently he is heavier that he has ever been and I am practically watching him killing himself slowly. I think what has made the matter worse is that he stopped smoking and so the weight has piled on. He is approx 230Kg and if something is not done then I don''t know what to do, his back is killing him, he does not believe it is his weight, as he keeps on telling me that he injured his back years ago and that it is an old injury, but he is not able to stand like myself and do certain things and falls a sleep very easily in front of the TV and he has sleep apnia, he is lucky to have a CPAP machine but is just too lazy to use it. I am asking what can I do to stear him in the right direction and make him catch a serious wake up?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageDietDoc

Dear Concerned
I can understand that you must be so worried about your husband if he weighs 230 kg and this great weight is seriously undermining his health and mobility. I can only suggest that you try to find out at your nearest government hospital if they have a treatment centre for obesity. Your husband's weight and health need to be assessed and if necessary drastic treatment such as a gastric bypass may be required. As you are not on a medical aid, the government hospitals would be the only places where serious interventions such as a gastric bypass may be possible. The problem as you know, is that your husband has to agree to seeking assistance. It may help to withdraw your support and hide your concern because these perfectly natural reactions on your part may be fuelling his inability to chance. It is possible that he enjoys the attention and 'control' he can exercise over you by his attitude. If you change, then perhaps he will come to realise that his condition is his own responsibility.
I sincerely hope that you can find an approach that will shake him out of his comfort zone and facilitate positive change.
Best regards
DietDoc

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Our users say:
Posted by: DietDoc | 2011-06-28

Dear Concerned
I can understand that you must be so worried about your husband if he weighs 230 kg and this great weight is seriously undermining his health and mobility. I can only suggest that you try to find out at your nearest government hospital if they have a treatment centre for obesity. Your husband's weight and health need to be assessed and if necessary drastic treatment such as a gastric bypass may be required. As you are not on a medical aid, the government hospitals would be the only places where serious interventions such as a gastric bypass may be possible. The problem as you know, is that your husband has to agree to seeking assistance. It may help to withdraw your support and hide your concern because these perfectly natural reactions on your part may be fuelling his inability to chance. It is possible that he enjoys the attention and 'control' he can exercise over you by his attitude. If you change, then perhaps he will come to realise that his condition is his own responsibility.
I sincerely hope that you can find an approach that will shake him out of his comfort zone and facilitate positive change.
Best regards
DietDoc

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