Our expert says:
You may notice there's been another message about grief this morning. There's not a question of SHOULD you feel this way ---if you do, you do. But maybe one may wonder WHY you feel so strongly about a nice person you didn't know for long. Do remember that grief is hard work and takes TIME, always more time than you expect, and 9 months or more is usual. Thinking about your own reaction, one pattern one sees quite often, is that when one experiences a severe grief from some personal loss and for some reason inhibits or doesn't complete one's grief, later in life one may react much more fiercely to what might otherwise be a lesser grief, as though the incomplete grief is being paid with interest, in this later occasion. Have you perhaps one of more previous sad losses in your life which you were not able to fully mourn at the time ?
Ones reactions in the first weeks can be a confuing mixture of emotion, numbness, disbelief, grief, anger, fear, confusion, whatever, and then gradually it becomes more predominantly grief. A counsellor experienced in assisting with grief can be helpful
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