Our expert says:
Sorry to hear of your loss. One feels how one feels ; there are no rules about how you are supposed to feel. Your dad may find it espeially difficult, as mourning is often harder when the relationship was ambivalent and where there had been early problems between them. And similarly, it sounds as though, for whatever reason, your grandmother was cruel and unpleasant at times. Don't allow yourself to fel guilty, as that isn't useful for you or for her. As for your dad, the best way to be helpful isnt to have some mavellous things to say to him, but to simply make it clear to him that you know this isn['t easy for him, and that he may have mixed feelings, and that you are available to listen if and when he wants to talk a bout it
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