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Question
Posted by: Melanie | 2008/11/07

Granddaughter' s attitude !!

Message:
I HAVE A GRANDDAUGHTER WHO WILL BE 13 IN FEB. HER DAD
[MY SON] AND MOM ARE DIVORCED SHE HAS A BROTHER HE WILL BE 11 IN FEB HE IS A REAL HONEY, SHE HOWEVER IS A LOVELY CHILD AS WELL, SHE CONFIDES IN ME WITH EVERYTHING IF SHE NEEDS SOMETHING FOR SCHOOL OR A SPECIAL OCCASION SHE PHONES AND I HAVE NEVER REFUSED HER ANYTHING IN FACT BOTH GRANDKIDS GET THE SAME TREATMENT. I NOTICE SHE IS VERY AGITATED AND WHEN I ASK HER WHAT'  S BOTHERING HER SHE FLARES UP AND TELLS ME NOT TO ASK QUESTIONS AND SHE WOULD ALSO APPRECIATE ME NOT PHONING HER ON A DAILY BASIS, I EXPLAINED TO HER I LOVE HER AND HER BROTHER VERY MUCH BUT IF SHE WANTS ME TO STAY OUT OF THEIR LIVES I WILL DO IT AT HER REQUEST. I FEEL SORRY FOR BOTH OF THEM, I DON'  T WANT TO BREAK TIES WITH THEM I AM PRIVILEGED TO HAVE THEM EVERY 2ND WEEKEND AND I GO FULL OUT TO GIVE THEM WHATEVER THEY WANT, I AM JUST VERY HURT KNOWING I HAVE NEVER DONE ANY HARM AND THE MANNER IN WHICH MY GRANDDAUGHTER SPEAKS TO ME MAKES ME WANT TO GIVE UP-I REALLY WOULDN'  T DO THAT BUT IT LOOKS LIKE SHE WANTS ME OUT OF HER LIFE PLEASE ADVISE ME HOW TO HANDLE THIS SITUATION MANY THANKS MELANIE.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageTeen expert

Hi Melanie,

it does sound as if what your granddaughter is asking for is space rather than you out of her life. This is very typical of someone her age who is entering adolescence where time to yourself becomes more important, and also a time where a number of your thoughts and feelings feel intensely private.

She also has the issues to deal with around her mom and dad. What I suggest you consider is not calling her every day, but that you ensure that she knows that you think about her a lot and that whenever she needs you you will be there. Knowing that will be important to her and give her the space to grow.

Best wishes

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Melanie | 2008/11/14

TO MOM,

OH MY GOODNESS THANKS FOR THE COMPLIMENT, I NEVER HAD GRANDPARENTS AND ALWAYS SAID THE DAY I HAVE GRANDCHILDREN I WILL SPOIL THEM ROTTEN - I KEPT MY SIDE OF THE BARGAIN.

REGARDS MELANIE

Reply to Melanie
Posted by: Mom | 2008/11/11

I wish I had a granny like you in my life. My granny never even bothered to call me on my birthday.

Reply to Mom
Posted by: Melanie | 2008/11/07

Hi Annemarie,
Thanks for the advice - I will never leave them I love them dearly I just thought maybe they want me to move on !

Thanks Melanie

Reply to Melanie
Posted by: annemarie | 2008/11/07

Give her some space, she' s a teenager. The worst possible thing you can do is to ' stay out of their lives'  - you are their granny, hang in there. Your grandson will also need to loosen his ties a bit in a year or two when the hormones start. Just be their granny, safe haven, always there and available. Love em, dont leave em....

Reply to annemarie

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