Our expert says:
Sorry to hear this very sad story, J, and hope nobody among the readers tries to show off by unpleasantly criticising the mistake you well know you made.
For yopur wife to have refused sex for so long is unreasonable and cruel, and more than balances your single unfortunate episode of straying. For her now to act cruelly and supply verbal abuse, is unreasonable and ugly. For her to refuse professional help on the ridiculous excuse that 'nobody was ever in her situation " ( Lord, what a grandiose and silly excuse ! There is nothing at all unique or special about her other than her selfishness )is also unacceptable. If your life span is indeed shortened ( you will have been advised by your doctors ) its wholly unaccceptable that she should chose to make this time as miserable as she can, rather than being supportive and kindly, and recognizing the causative cruelty of her frigidity.
The priority needs to become focussing on your own psychological and health needs, and if she is unable or unwilling to help, and refuses to sincerely work in marriage counselling to improve things between you, you may be better off without her. tg least see a personal counsellor, for your own sake, to evaluate your alternatives and make a wise decision for your future.
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