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Question
Posted by: ADVICE | 2010/02/02

GOOD

hI

i am falling for hunks and good sex and always get the raw deal,.i know boring is better but it just dont agree with me,. gentlemen are not interesting to me. i was molested when i was young. and i am always insecure. i hold onto men that dont deserve my kindness. explain to me this cbt.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

If you "go for hunks and good sex" you will usuall get a raw deal. And STD.
It is quite common that people who have been sexually abused when young form the idea that they need to pay for affection and attention by being as sexual as possible, as though no other aspect of themselves is worth anything, and they may seek out too many shallow sexual relationships to convince them this somehow shows them to be of some value.
CBT - check the archivs of this forum, as I've explained it many times. Its a modern and effective method of psychotherapy, shown to be effective in lots of good research, which doesn't take forever, and which focusses on your automatic thoughts, assumptions and behaviours that are not helpful in your life, and works to help you leaern how to identify what is and isn't useful among ways of responding to the situations in life, and how to choose and enjoy the best and most fruitful ways of responding.

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2
Our users say:
Posted by: endless | 2010/02/02

it is possible to have the best love making and sex in your life with a gentleman...seems you are falling for sterotypes...

Reply to endless
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/02/02

If you "go for hunks and good sex" you will usuall get a raw deal. And STD.
It is quite common that people who have been sexually abused when young form the idea that they need to pay for affection and attention by being as sexual as possible, as though no other aspect of themselves is worth anything, and they may seek out too many shallow sexual relationships to convince them this somehow shows them to be of some value.
CBT - check the archivs of this forum, as I've explained it many times. Its a modern and effective method of psychotherapy, shown to be effective in lots of good research, which doesn't take forever, and which focusses on your automatic thoughts, assumptions and behaviours that are not helpful in your life, and works to help you leaern how to identify what is and isn't useful among ways of responding to the situations in life, and how to choose and enjoy the best and most fruitful ways of responding.

Reply to cybershrink

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