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Question
Posted by: R' s | 2010-01-07

going out to eat

I have a few friends that enjoy going out to eat. I have come to realise that I need to cut back on my expenditure and one of the ways I need to cut back is by not going out to eat as much. How do I tell my friends this? They might think I am making it up and I also dont like to play the poverty card, but it is really getting out of hand. I still want to see them, but maybe just for coffee. Any suggestions on assertive ways to get this point across?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

If money is scarce, there is actually no need for anyone to go out to eat at all. And its not "playing the poverty card" to simply tell friends that you can't fford to eat out, and would like to see them less expensively at home, because for you friendship is abou the human contact and conversation, not the restaurant itself.
Anyone who does not understand and adjust to your realistic situation is actually not a friend at all.

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3
Our users say:
Posted by: Maria | 2010-01-07

I agree with Rick, be honest.

When you do go out, maybe eat something at home and then just have a starter or a salad as your main meal. Skip dessert or share with someone and go easy on the drinks. This will also be a lot healthier, and you can tell your friends you' re trying to have a healthier lifestyle in addition to cutting costs.

Reply to Maria
Posted by: Rick | 2010-01-07

Just be honest and tell them the truth, if they dont understand or mock you then you have determined that they are not your real friends anyway and therefore it would not matter what they think.

Honesty and straight talk always works.

Regards
Rick

Reply to Rick
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010-01-07

If money is scarce, there is actually no need for anyone to go out to eat at all. And its not "playing the poverty card" to simply tell friends that you can't fford to eat out, and would like to see them less expensively at home, because for you friendship is abou the human contact and conversation, not the restaurant itself.
Anyone who does not understand and adjust to your realistic situation is actually not a friend at all.

Reply to cybershrink

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