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Question
Posted by: JJH | 2010/03/01

Girlfriend trouble

My girlfriend of two years left me over the weekend. She used a number of reasons but the main one is that she wants to find herself. She said she has adapted so much to my lifestyle that is not really sure what she likes and dislike anymore. Up untill the week before she still told me how much she loves me and that she can''t wait to get married to be one day. So it has been a sudden change of mind. We recently came back from the best holiday ever and every thing was so perfect and we grew so much closer. Valentines day was awesome as well. There is alot of things happening in her life at the moment. She is in the process of being promoted in her job and that together with her studies will be very busy from now on. She promised me that there is no other interest for other guys. She still sees me as her perfect guy. She is still rather young and I am 5 years older than her. I really dont want too lose her she is my life! And I really love her! What advise can you give me please?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Well, the credibility of her claim that she wants to "find herself" may depend in good part on where she now looks. If she goes into counselling to make this exploration more likely to be useful, her claim is believable, IF she plunges into another relationship with someone else, it's totally unbelievable.
If she is so busy, and that is understandable, she might have less time to spare for a relationship, but wou;dn't need to end it. She sounds immature ( and perhaps she realizes that ) and lacking in self-confidence. With the right sort of help, maybe she can achieve what's needed to resume the relationship.
So yes, give her time and space, and see what happens

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3
Our users say:
Posted by: JJH | 2010/03/01

I also thought I must do the same. I really dont want to lose her. I''m hoping that if I give her space and make monimum to no contact she will remember what we has and realize she made a mistake.

Reply to JJH
Posted by: Sam | 2010/03/01

Give her some space. She will miss you and she will come back. When you chase after her, you push her away, but if you let her go, she''ll feel the need to come back.

Reply to Sam
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/03/01

Well, the credibility of her claim that she wants to "find herself" may depend in good part on where she now looks. If she goes into counselling to make this exploration more likely to be useful, her claim is believable, IF she plunges into another relationship with someone else, it's totally unbelievable.
If she is so busy, and that is understandable, she might have less time to spare for a relationship, but wou;dn't need to end it. She sounds immature ( and perhaps she realizes that ) and lacking in self-confidence. With the right sort of help, maybe she can achieve what's needed to resume the relationship.
So yes, give her time and space, and see what happens

Reply to cybershrink

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