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Question
Posted by: Motlalentwa | 2011/05/14

Girlfriend Can''t forget Ex

I am involved with a woman who is to much concerned with the life of his ex-boyfriend. She is having a child with his ex and now she does not like the woman his ex is going out with, reasoning that the woman is not good for the child while the child is staying with her and not the boyfried. Do I have to commit to this woman as it seems I will have to tolerate this nonsense for the rest of my life. We do have a fresh baby with the woman

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Far too often people tell themselves they "Can\t" do something which they actually could do - if only they'd stop convincing themselves that they can't. It often means that they don't really want to try to do so.
Someone who finds it hard to let go of a previous arangement, has no business getting involved with someone new. OK, if she allowed herself to become pregnant by the Ex, and then decided to "break up" with him ( whatever that actually meant ) she might need some sort of contact with him regarding the baby and eventually the child.
But if she has broken up, its none of her business what other women he chooses to go out with - that's what being Ex means !
If there are genuine reasons for being worried about the SAFETY of the chil when with the ex ( and his new woman ) that's a different matter, and should involve child welfare, and maybe a court to decide whether or not he ( and thus the new woman ) should have the right to unsupervised access to the child. If she just doesn't fancy the new wwoman, hard luck !
Its sad you decided to start a new baby with this woman who is obviously still very emotionaly involved with her ex, and before you knew her well enough to recognize this.
You should all sit calmly and think about what is best for the children, who are the only entirely innocent people involved here.

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/05/14

Far too often people tell themselves they "Can\t" do something which they actually could do - if only they'd stop convincing themselves that they can't. It often means that they don't really want to try to do so.
Someone who finds it hard to let go of a previous arangement, has no business getting involved with someone new. OK, if she allowed herself to become pregnant by the Ex, and then decided to "break up" with him ( whatever that actually meant ) she might need some sort of contact with him regarding the baby and eventually the child.
But if she has broken up, its none of her business what other women he chooses to go out with - that's what being Ex means !
If there are genuine reasons for being worried about the SAFETY of the chil when with the ex ( and his new woman ) that's a different matter, and should involve child welfare, and maybe a court to decide whether or not he ( and thus the new woman ) should have the right to unsupervised access to the child. If she just doesn't fancy the new wwoman, hard luck !
Its sad you decided to start a new baby with this woman who is obviously still very emotionaly involved with her ex, and before you knew her well enough to recognize this.
You should all sit calmly and think about what is best for the children, who are the only entirely innocent people involved here.

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