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Question
Posted by: Anon | 2012/09/20

Girlfriend and friend

I have been in a serious realtionship for many years and we live together(not maried no kids). We have big group of friends that we often see. In the group there is a girl that of late I get on very well with. We have been chatting more and more and occasionaly spending time together alone outside the friendship group. I have strong feelings for her but I don''t know what to do.

I have not cheated on my girlfriend, I can control my actions but not my fellings. What do I do ?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Allowing yourself to spend more and more special time with this other girl has been inviting feelings between you to develop, and is unfair to you, to her and to your partner. This has been to some extent emotional cheating, even if not physical so far. TO a significant extent, your actions affect your feelings. Stop seeing her apart from the group, and spend more time with your current partner, and concentrate on her, and see whether the "feelings" for the other girl deminish

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2
Our users say:
Posted by: Romany | 2012/09/20

It is all about a man''s ego.
This girl is paying extra attention to you and thus boosting your ego.
So, now, as this makes you feel good all over, you think you are developing feelings for her.
Decide if you want your present girlfriend and if you do, stay away from this girl.
If you want to persue things with this girl, then be a man and leave your girlfriend so she may find a man that will love and respect her and not consider cheating on her.
You cannot have it both ways and if you act on this, you will be very sorry indeed.

Reply to Romany
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/09/20

Allowing yourself to spend more and more special time with this other girl has been inviting feelings between you to develop, and is unfair to you, to her and to your partner. This has been to some extent emotional cheating, even if not physical so far. TO a significant extent, your actions affect your feelings. Stop seeing her apart from the group, and spend more time with your current partner, and concentrate on her, and see whether the "feelings" for the other girl deminish

Reply to cybershrink

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