advertisement
Question
Posted by: hendrik | 2010/12/03

girl friend and relationship

Hi doc, my girlfriend of 5 yrs(age 52, me 50) had the opportunity to spend every evening with me this week as her daughter is away. Every evening she goes to visit her friends and comes to me 20h30 to 21h00. Last night by 21h30 she was still visiting despite me waiting for her since 20h00. She drives my Prado and owes me in excess of R200 000. Our sex life is non existent and I feel I revolt her.
Is this behaviour of hers normal to spend so much time with friends. I had a hip op 3 weeks ago and cannot easily go out - I do not like to go out more than once per week when healthy either..

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

She doesn't need to spend every evening with you, but should keep to whatever arrangement is agreed, and not keep you waiting. I don't understand how she has been allowed to build up a R 200,000 debt to you, or to drive YOUR car while visiting these apparently irresistable friends. Sounds awfully much as though she is using you.
In your description, there's loads of benefits for her, and none for you. Consult a lawyer and ask for her plan to pay back her debts as soon as posible, and withdraw her rights to use your car - if she finds thiese reasonable steps offensive, then she proves that this was all about using you, and not a real relationship at all.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

5
Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/12/04

She doesn't need to spend every evening with you, but should keep to whatever arrangement is agreed, and not keep you waiting. I don't understand how she has been allowed to build up a R 200,000 debt to you, or to drive YOUR car while visiting these apparently irresistable friends. Sounds awfully much as though she is using you.
In your description, there's loads of benefits for her, and none for you. Consult a lawyer and ask for her plan to pay back her debts as soon as posible, and withdraw her rights to use your car - if she finds thiese reasonable steps offensive, then she proves that this was all about using you, and not a real relationship at all.

Reply to cybershrink
Posted by: Choice | 2010/12/03

Her choices
a. go out with girlfriends in flash car with cash as my 200 000 debt is not likely to be re called.
b. stay in with gentleman with no sex who does not like going out even when he is healthy

Reply to Choice
Posted by: Vrye Denker | 2010/12/03

Well, I don''t know if you deserve better, not knowing you at all, but it certainly doesn''t seem like the relationship I would want to be involved in.

Reply to Vrye Denker
Posted by: HUH | 2010/12/03

Leave her you deserve better

Reply to HUH
Posted by: Maria | 2010/12/03

It certainly sounds as if you''re a convenient source of transport and money for her, and that''s all.

Reply to Maria

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
advertisement