Our expert says:
Why does your gf "refuse" to seek work - is there a problem as regards caring for the young twins, such that she feels she has to stay at home with them ? Or is she more simply uninterested in actual work ? If she's at home all day and the house is still in a mess, it suggests she's for some reason averse to working at all - is this a change or was she always like this ?
Maybe she's relucant to do anything that might be seen as enabling her to stand on her own 2 feet, for fear that this might make you feel bolder about pushing her out ? It does indeed sound as though the strategy she has chosen is to make you look bad and feel bad, to protect her preference for sitting around all day.
Are there members of her family you can discuss the situation with, who might intervene and help her to start facing reality ?
She could approach the Maintenance Court to get the ex to pay a fairer share of the costs of that child. But if she moved out, who would care for your twins ? If you moved offm on your own, this should not be done as a surprise for her, but with plenty of warning for her to make alternative arrangements - and you would be liable, via the maintenance court if necessary, for supporting the twins financially at leasy.
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