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Question
Posted by: mimi | 2010-05-24

Getting the right help

Hi doc , I know my hb has a drinking problem , he is a binge drinker and has excessive drinking sessions about 3 times a week , after MANY fights ,unhappiness and lonleyness I think I had enought and decided that either I am leaving him or he gets prof. help , he has not admitted to having a dinking problem but did say that he sometimes dont even enjoy the drink but he drinks to get drunk ,doc we have been married for 11 years , we have been to counsellors 3 times , we were almost divorced once because of his drinking , the longest he stopped drinking was for a year so I know he can , I want to give this a LAST try , and decided that I want to help him and support him, he has agreed to go and see a clinical psychologist he said that he does not know if this will work but he will never know if he does not try , I told him that I think he uses the alchohol as a coping mechanism and he must get help to understand that and also to find other coping mechanisms when the alchohol is gone , he agreed and also cried , I feel sorry for him he looks lost , I want him to do this because HE wants to and not becuase I told him to , I know my husband needs some guidance , can I give him the telephone number and then just leave him and see what he does or do I make an appointment to go and see the psychologist ? 11 Years is a long time to just throw out - thank you

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Often, alcoholics get into complicated and silly arguments about why they ae NOT alcoholic, and this can be an unhelpful point to argue.
The fact is that he drinks more havil than most people and with less free control over it, and the drinking is associated with problems for him and for others. And he really doesn't sound as though he is anjoying his drinking so much as feeling he has to drink.
Its good that he is prepared, even if this might no be entirely sincere, to see someone. Don't limit what may be his last chance for now, by seeing only a lesser qualified counsellor - he should see a psychiatrist with an interest in drinking and substance abuse problems, to plan a comprehensive approach, which may INCLUDE but not be limited to , working with a counsellor and may include some drugs which help a drinker to stop and stay stopped. And of course you should see the shrink as well - to me that is an essential part of handling any such problems properly

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Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010-05-24

Often, alcoholics get into complicated and silly arguments about why they ae NOT alcoholic, and this can be an unhelpful point to argue.
The fact is that he drinks more havil than most people and with less free control over it, and the drinking is associated with problems for him and for others. And he really doesn't sound as though he is anjoying his drinking so much as feeling he has to drink.
Its good that he is prepared, even if this might no be entirely sincere, to see someone. Don't limit what may be his last chance for now, by seeing only a lesser qualified counsellor - he should see a psychiatrist with an interest in drinking and substance abuse problems, to plan a comprehensive approach, which may INCLUDE but not be limited to , working with a counsellor and may include some drugs which help a drinker to stop and stay stopped. And of course you should see the shrink as well - to me that is an essential part of handling any such problems properly

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