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Question
Posted by: Sally | 2012/07/16

Getting over someone

Hi Doc,
How do I get over someone I work with and we have an emotional bond. Although he really only wants one thing - I have grown fond of him and enjoy his company but realise he isnt in this for the right reasons.
I see him daily and he has wanted to do things but can never committ to anything ....
I have not done anything physical with him - although I am attracted to him and am tempted.
Thanks

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

If he only wanted one thing ( and we can guess that wasn't your recipe for koeksusters ) then face facts - he had no genuine emotional bond with you at all, even though you may have chosen to have one with him. Whatever is enjoyable about his company is designed by him with one aim in mind. Don't do anything physical with him ; you're worth more than that. Stop concentrating on what might seem likeable about him, and move on, to find someone more genuine, and more interested in ALL of you

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3
Our users say:
Posted by: Anon | 2012/07/16

Try to distance yourself a bit, if you have to work with him regulary just keep it polite, work-related and to the point, try to avoid chatting with him otherwise. If he is really only after one thing, he will lose interest quickly if you stop giving him attention and probably start flirting with someon else, something that can be a bit of an eye opener to witness.

You seem to be thinking about this situation quite logically which is good. Try to remind yourself regularly that he doesn''t share your feelings, if you do end up caving in and things get physical, you are the one who is going to walk away feeling hurt and having difficulty dealing with an akward work enviroment.

Also, push this guy out of your mind when you socialise with friends or meet new people. I know of atleast one occasion in my life where I missed the oppertunity to get know a really sweet guy because I was just too hung up on someone who had no actual interest a relationship.

Reply to Anon
Posted by: fifi | 2012/07/16

He wants your punai, you give him your punai you will regret the day u open your legs except if you are cheap. If I were u i rather do it outside than at work. My respect and dignity. You dont buy respect you earn it

Reply to fifi
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/07/16

If he only wanted one thing ( and we can guess that wasn't your recipe for koeksusters ) then face facts - he had no genuine emotional bond with you at all, even though you may have chosen to have one with him. Whatever is enjoyable about his company is designed by him with one aim in mind. Don't do anything physical with him ; you're worth more than that. Stop concentrating on what might seem likeable about him, and move on, to find someone more genuine, and more interested in ALL of you

Reply to cybershrink

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