Posted by: Nika | 2009-02-05

Getting over a breakup

Dear CS and Other readers

Why is it that it is so hard at times to just get over a breakup even though you know that it' s for the good and you are better off!! Is it that people or let me say I am just a sucker for punishment, could it be the ideal of having a relationship that keeps me hanging on. What on earth could it be? What is the possibility of a person just not being able to handle certain things in life without help or am I just straight DUMB or messed up. I find myself going through so many emotions and with one question echoing in my mind, WHY?? WHY DID THIS HAVE TO HAPPEN?

DO I need therapy or WHAT ELSE CAN I DO? I know that I am so worth everything and deserve so much more but then why am i torturing myself so much. I even think that in the end its not about him anymore then what is it about? There' s a lot more that has hapnd in my life not sure if that is what' s affecting me so much and making me rather dwell on the breakup then dealing with it.

I' ve always thought of myself as being a level headed person, who would analyse scenarios and find solutions or atleast try and find it. But these days all that happens is that my heart aches and aches.

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Our expert says:
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Its like getting over a death or any other major loss --- there's a big difference between your intellectual knowing that it's over, and your emotional responses to that --- protect, anger, denial, sadness, searching, whatever. And the WHY question is one you return to several times, as you work through all this. Respect your emotions, but don't act on them --- going back to a hopeless failed relationship does not make you feel better, only worse. Counselling can sometime help if you're spinning your wheels in your own efforts.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Sema | 2009-02-08

Hey Nika,

I know what you going through, I was in a 5 year relationship, we got engaged we were happy (at least I was) I worshiped the ground she walked on, Everything I did was for her, all I wanted in return was her love, well that only lasted 5 years, then she decided to cheat on me, to top things off I found out on Valentines day, two months before we got married, my world crashed down on me... All this happened 3 years ago...I' m still not over it, everyday I wake up thinking of her.
I struggle to meet other woman, actually I have not dated any other girl since the breakup, partialy due to my lack of confidence and my trust in woman, my fear that if I do meet someone else and fall head over heals I might get hurt again, something I won' t be able to go through again, so I spend my days at home doing nothing and when I do go out I get drunk only to numb the pain... I' m not saying that you wont get over it, I rather want you to learn from me, DON' T do what I' m doing to myself, Please!!

Remember I know what you are going through

Reply to Sema
Posted by: Nika | 2009-02-05

Dear CS

Thank you very much for your advice I REALLY appreciate it. I felt much better after just posting. I just need to put in more work in getting better even if it means seeing a counsellor.


Reply to Nika

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