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Question
Posted by: cally | 2009-02-04

getting more adventurous

Hi!
Any ideas how I can encourage my guy to be more adventurous sexually?
He' s very reluctant to try anything new, like me dressing up (not in leather, mind you, but even me wearing pretty underwear), or telling me what he likes and wants, and what feels good.
He' s very conservative, doesn' t even talk or express himself during sex  but I' m a wild child and want to try new things.
How do I encourage him or introduce new things?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

Dear Cally,

You need to firstly accept the fact that you and your boyfriend are different in your sexual attitudes and that it is going to require some adapting on both your parts to work towards acheiving a sexual relationship that works for you both.

I would suggest honest and open communication of your sexual relationship. It is not ideal to have the discussion during a sexual encounter. It is best to have the discussion in a non sexual situation. Where you both get to discuss and express your sexual needs and wants and negotiate what you both are possibly comfortable to try. This will help you determine whether there is potential for growth in your sexual relationship or whether you have a significant situation of sexual incompatibility.

A couples sex therapist could also be helpful in assisting you as a couple.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Disenchanted | 2009-02-05

Hi wish my wife had your needs...... have you tried just surprising him with something, maybe he is just shy..... ?
It' s amazing that the boring guys get the hot girls and vica versa. Someone must know how to make your hubby as well as many others more adventurous, and please help us solve this for all us guys with boring wives..... 99% of us would love lingerie/adventure/talk etc.

Reply to Disenchanted
Posted by: cally | 2009-02-05

Hey Ben,
I' d like him to talk to me during sex, let me know if he likes it (he' s silent all the time), I' d like to dress up for him, give him a lapdance, do a striptease... etc etc. What I' d like from him is a little more encouragement, he seems to freak out whenever I suggest anything adventurous... I mean, don' t guys like it when their girls dress up in pretty lingerie?

Reply to cally
Posted by: ben | 2009-02-05

what do you want him to do to you?

Reply to ben
Posted by: Big Ben | 2009-02-04

Cally,
I want to ask you actually the same question i would like to get more adventurous with my wife, but she is also a bit conservative ..................................

Reply to Big Ben

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