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Question
Posted by: Latoya | 2011/08/05

Getting Lonely

Just need to take this out of my chest, i am alone, and have been alone for a year now. i was married to a scumbag for 9 years, been together for 6, it didnt work out, i divorced him, stayed for months before i meet someone, i meet a wonderful guy, or i thought he was wonderful, i would say he was because for the shorter period spent together, he treated me like a queen, but the relationship didnt work, we just didnt communicate anymore, even though he will call me whenever he wanted to talk, but there was no relationship.
Got into another one with a guy who was 4 years younger than me, who will come to my house eat, sleep, wake up bath and basically there was nothing that i was benefiting out of the relationship, but he did, because he was at my house most of the time, we never went out, unless if i suggest we go out, etc. I looke at the relationship and realised i am wasting my time, the relationship is not going anywhere, that was after i asked him where are we going, he told me he is not ready for a committed relationship, and i said, well nna i need a serious relationship because i am not getting any younger, we ended things.
Now i am so lonely and miserable without him even though i know i wont go back to him, because we clearly were not meant to be, i am miserably lonely and i need someone, but i dont need men who depend on women, i need a real macho man, where can i meet them? i dont go to places a lot, my life revolves around work, home, or going to friend''s places, if anyone can tell me where to meet real good men who are not out there to abuse women or to play games with them, i will be happy.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Often when you rush into a new relationship before fully recovering from a previous and painful one, you may be less cautious than you need to be, and may find that you're repeating the errors made before.
This last example sounds illustrative, you found a guiy who exploited your neediness, and found for himself an arrangement that suited him perfectly, that gave him all the advantages of a committed relationship ( from your side ) with none of the committment or attention to your needs and wants, on his.
Good men, and good women, are all around, and I don't think they gather at any particular place nor are they available for hire ! One simply needs to keep looking !

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: Latoya | 2011/08/05

Theuns, why are you still available? I am under the impression, they are all taken, unless you are divorced. I really would not mind even friendship, because I feel as if I have closed myself in a cage. Liza I need to start going out, if I do meet them, will definitely let you know

Reply to Latoya
Posted by: Theuns | 2011/08/05

Liza i promise you are i am one of those men.

Reply to Theuns
Posted by: Liza | 2011/08/05

If you find out where to get those real good men, kindly let us know. They''re as scarce as chicken teeth...

Reply to Liza
Posted by: Theuns | 2011/08/05

Do you want to start off by been friends at first?

Reply to Theuns
Posted by: Latoya | 2011/08/05

Oh didnt mention my age, i am 40 in the East Rand area

Reply to Latoya
Posted by: Theuns | 2011/08/05

How old are youand where and you?

Reply to Theuns
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/08/05

Often when you rush into a new relationship before fully recovering from a previous and painful one, you may be less cautious than you need to be, and may find that you're repeating the errors made before.
This last example sounds illustrative, you found a guiy who exploited your neediness, and found for himself an arrangement that suited him perfectly, that gave him all the advantages of a committed relationship ( from your side ) with none of the committment or attention to your needs and wants, on his.
Good men, and good women, are all around, and I don't think they gather at any particular place nor are they available for hire ! One simply needs to keep looking !

Reply to cybershrink

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