Posted by: Mandy | 2009/03/04

Getting BORED!

My bf and I have been together for 6 months now. In this time I have only had an orgasm once. He is 33, and I am 30.

I find him quite boring in bed. He always wants me to get ontop, and he doesn' t seem to understand the importance of foreplay.

Sex feels like it' s a chore for him, and I tend to feel that I' m begging him for it. There' s little excitement. He wont even take my clothes off, he just tells me to get naked... that' s a bit of a mood killer.
It even took him about 3 months to eventually perform oral sex on me... (perhaps because I asked!) and has only done it 3 times so far...
Could this be due to inexperience? (He hasn' t had many sexual relationships, or been in a serious relationship)

What can I do? I LOVE sex! But I' m getting so bored that even though I want it, now I' m starting to think why I even bother...

I am so scared this affects our relationship. He really is a special guy.

PS He also has a slight PE problem (which we have been working on with tips from your site), and he doesn' t stay hard throughout our sessions. When I' m enjoying myself on top of him, he almost always goes limp.... then I have to get him hard again.

PLEASE HELP - I' m desperate for mind-blowing sex!!

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

It sounds like you need to have a serious discussion with your partner about a number of issues. Your relationship generally as well as the sexual activity. Good sex will only be possible when both parties are committed to giving and receiving pleasure, and talking about what feels good. Foreplay is a huge part of satisfying sex. Inexperience could be a factor but he needs to be willing to learn and grow too. There are medical treatments for PE so he should be encouraged to see his doctor about it. Apart from the physical aspects of sex, if there is guilt, resentment or dissatisfaction regarding the relationship, these can influence physical performance.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Nir | 2009/03/05


No two people are the same so, there will be some differences. You need to communicate, which is the first and best way of address your concerns as this is what a happy marriage is all about.

Try all the necessary ways of ensuring that both understand each other, be it therepy, reading or watching movies to change his ways. It may also help for both of you to get away from home and try having a weekend away where it may be less stressful.

I tried everything and I had to make the final decesion, which is painful but a choice I made. Now, it even more difficult to find a companion.

So try, and go on trying and it may work.

Reply to Nir
Posted by: Mandy | 2009/03/04


No I haven' t been married.

Reply to Mandy
Posted by: big boy | 2009/03/04

Have you been married before.

Reply to big boy
Posted by: big boy | 2009/03/04

Have you been married before.

Reply to big boy
Posted by: Striker | 2009/03/04

Most of us come into relationships with (sexual) baggage. Maybe he never learned how to please a woman. Sometimes a man need to be taught what is expected from him. You should not think in terms that u r asking, that already is a negative thought and u immediately start to think negative. Rather see it as u ask what u want, and u show him. A relationship is built on trust and honesty, u both must feel comfortable to speak regarding ur sexual needs and wants. If u dont become one during intercourse, something is amissing. I had the same problem with my wife, i felt that i had to ask all the time when in fact she wanted it just the same. Its all about speaking about ur needs. U seriously needs to sit down and discuss this issue. I can guarantee u it will become worse and it for sure wont go away by itself.

Reply to Striker
Posted by: joe | 2009/03/04

you need to explain to him more how you feel. maybe there is something else : ex stress for instance. tell him more how you feel dont give up, keep on telling him until you are getting your mind blowing sex after all

Reply to joe

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.