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Question
Posted by: Dido | 2010-01-06

Getting back with an ex after a decade

I broke up with my ex about ten years ago while we were still at school. We met recently and he wants us to get back together, A lot has happended in my life in the past decade (i.e. had a baby by another man). We are both single at the moment, and if we do get back together it will be a long distance relationship. Do you think we could make it work this time around?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I wonder what, other than hope, and presumably his sincerity, makes you feel that a renewed relationship, especially with the added difficulties of long-distance, will work out ?
As nice implies, it might and it might not, like any relationship. Unless there were awful and serious easons for the previous break-up, things which have not changed at all, a renewed relationship would probably have the same chances as most relaionships - and would depend on a wide range of factors you'd need to explore together

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Our users say:
Posted by: Dido | 2010-01-08

Thank you for the response, We broke up because he wanted to have sex and I wasn' t ready for that, in fact I felt so offended by his request at that age that I spent 4 years not talking to him (but the love was always there). Over the years he told his friends (some of which are my friends) and ex girlfriends that I was the love of his life. He is already talking marriage and kids and I m not sure if Im ready for this. I feel like I need to deal with my past first before letting any man into my &  daughter' s life.
I broke up with the father of my child two years ago because he was a cheat, violent and I suspected that he was molesting our daughter. I took her to teddy bear clinic after talking to a my social worker and her school teacher because she was not only acting strange at home, even at her preschool they noticed that something was wrong. They couldn' t find anything, ( but I still feel that something happened, even if it was not penetration but something did happen) and I could open a case because there was no concrete proof, . I tried to obained a protection order when he was threatning and stalking me but it was not granted, somehow the court felt that I was using the molestation to get away from my ex. He took me to the lawyers last June for character defamation &  that I did not want him to see his child. His lawyers called me to hear my side of the story &  to check if it is necessary for them to take the case further, I told them my side of the story. He did not show up in court for the hearing. He called towards end of last year saying that he wants to see the child, we agreed to meet at the police station but he did not show up again, &  Im just waiting for his next move.

Reply to Dido
Posted by: nice | 2010-01-06

Only you and him can answer that.....a shrink cant

Reply to nice
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010-01-06

I wonder what, other than hope, and presumably his sincerity, makes you feel that a renewed relationship, especially with the added difficulties of long-distance, will work out ?
As nice implies, it might and it might not, like any relationship. Unless there were awful and serious easons for the previous break-up, things which have not changed at all, a renewed relationship would probably have the same chances as most relaionships - and would depend on a wide range of factors you'd need to explore together

Reply to cybershrink

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