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Question
Posted by: almost mad | 2012/01/18

Get depressed after sex

hi. I dont really like having sex. When I do have sex i enjoy it. But getting myself to actually start the process is an effort. So generally I would say I hate sex. Ive been with my fiance for 5 years. Then once we finished I have to get up immediately, no cuddling as I get depressed. I need to get up and do stuff before the onset of depression. Or I start feeling that way immediately and the feeling is so bad I feel empty and want to die. I was never sexually abused or anything. I do however suffer from chronic depression...for 10 years now. I take cilift. please explain this. Am i normal? My fiance loves sex and I feel bad that I often deny him. Sometimes i have sex just because I feel bad for him.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

This is probably nopt basically about sex, ut about how you are currently reacting to your previous experiences of sex, and thus it can be changed with counselling / psychotherapy, and isn't inevitable. This may also be related to your depression, and even some reaction to your necessary medication. I hope you are not being treated solely by a GP, as this group of concerns should best be reviewed by a psychiatrist, who can then discuss usefully with you the nature of your problems and how best to improve them.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: almost mad | 2012/01/23

cyber thanks. babe and anon, i get such anxiety. thank you for letting me know im not the only one. I wish i could go see someone but I cant afford it right now. I definately need help.

Reply to almost mad
Posted by: Babe | 2012/01/19

im like that too.But that is because of the termination he forced me to do years ago.I love cuddling ad all and when we broke up my then partner and i would stay in bed chatting after sex just touching.
Ut with him i just want to get up and go to the toilet or do something.He is good,i do enjoy sumetimes but still when done i just feekl empty i want to be far from him.

Reply to Babe
Posted by: Obvious | 2012/01/18

Maybe he is very bad at sex and you are not enjoying it.Maybe you are just frustrated at not reaching your full potential in bed,have you thought about seeing a sexologist or posting on the sexologist forum?

Reply to Obvious
Posted by: Anonymous | 2012/01/18

I have the same problem but I am not clinically depressed. I just hate the whole process before sex. I do like it when it happens but the process gets me.
On my part I think it''s because I was raised in a religious family, not married yet, and was raised to only have sex after I am married, I feel like I am breaking the laws and disappointing so many people (weird I know). I feel so bad for even wanting to have sex so I push those feelings down. I never even want to think about being sexy and all those other sexual things. I worry what it will do to me and how I will be like when I am married.
Me and my BF have been together for 5 years now.

I hope you do find out why you have trouble with sex.

Reply to Anonymous
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/01/18

This is probably nopt basically about sex, ut about how you are currently reacting to your previous experiences of sex, and thus it can be changed with counselling / psychotherapy, and isn't inevitable. This may also be related to your depression, and even some reaction to your necessary medication. I hope you are not being treated solely by a GP, as this group of concerns should best be reviewed by a psychiatrist, who can then discuss usefully with you the nature of your problems and how best to improve them.

Reply to cybershrink

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