advertisement
Question
Posted by: Laurie | 2011/05/23

Genetics

Dear CS, I have been born of a coloured mother and a german father whom I never knew. What is puzzling, is that I struggle to fit into the coloured culture I have tried for years! My thinking is different, my actions etc are completely different. I have tried hard to fit in and eventually gave up. Since I dont know my german father and his family (he is deceased and so is my mother), I dont know where I fit in. I married a coloured man who also does not understand my emotions. I went to psychologists and there is nothing wrong with me, so the only thing I can deduce is that genetics and born-personality traits are playing a role. How do I fit in ? I havealways rejected my german side, however do you think I should seek out german friends and see if this works for me?

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Generally, the way one behaves is something we learn as a child, from our parents and the people we grow up amongst - its not genetic, or inherited without long contact. And emotions are more individual than determined by parents or genetics. Your individual, entirely personal personality is created within you, by what you were bron with, but mainly by how you interacted with all that happened with you in life, the conclusions you drew ( accurate and inaccurate ) and so on. There is no way you SHOULD be, or will have to be, as you will have a really wide margin of choice. You seem to be looking for a set of rules to tell you how to be, to feel, and to behave - to be "coloured" or "german" or whatever. That's the wrong approach. I'm sure the psychologist was right to say there's nothing wrong with you, no pathology. But a good psychologist would have helped you to explore all that you can be, and to enjoy who and what you are.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

1
Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/05/23

Generally, the way one behaves is something we learn as a child, from our parents and the people we grow up amongst - its not genetic, or inherited without long contact. And emotions are more individual than determined by parents or genetics. Your individual, entirely personal personality is created within you, by what you were bron with, but mainly by how you interacted with all that happened with you in life, the conclusions you drew ( accurate and inaccurate ) and so on. There is no way you SHOULD be, or will have to be, as you will have a really wide margin of choice. You seem to be looking for a set of rules to tell you how to be, to feel, and to behave - to be "coloured" or "german" or whatever. That's the wrong approach. I'm sure the psychologist was right to say there's nothing wrong with you, no pathology. But a good psychologist would have helped you to explore all that you can be, and to enjoy who and what you are.

Reply to cybershrink

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
advertisement