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Question
Posted by: bella | 2008/09/17

geen intimiteit geen seks

Ek en my man is 18 maande jaar getroud. Hy is 60 en ek 55. Aan die begin was alles heel goed. Nou is daar geen aanraking of liefkosings nie. Seks ook nie. Al die mooi woordijies is weg en my man is baie afsyding en hou glad nie daarvan dat ek intiem aan hom vat nie. Hy sal ook nie spontaan wees omtrent seks nie. Sal ook nie eers speels aan my vat nie. Slaap met sy rug na my en sal nooit aan my kaal lyf vat nie. Ek weet nie wat dit is nie want ons het al verskeie kere daaroor probeer praat maar dan loop dit uit op n rusie. Dit is asof hy gril vir te veel nabyheid. Ek smag na sy nabyheid ons is besig om geen bande te smee in die nuwe huwelik nie. Ek probeer dit hanteer om dit af te maak dat dit nie so belangrik is nie en dat dar baie ander positiewe dinge in ons huwelik is maar na n maand of drie dan gee ek uitting aan my frustrasies. My man voel ek is onnodig sensitief oor die probleem. Ek sal asb. u raad hoof op prys stel en indien u dink ons moet saam na n spesialis op die gebied gaan dan sal ek probeer om hom daar te kry. Baie dankie

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

Bella, sorry for the delay, I had to have your message translated to make sure I understood all that you said. I must also apologise but I will have to reply in English as Afrikaans is quite limited.

It does sound quite confusing because it wasn't so long ago that things seemed 'fine' to you...and it is almost as if this is a different man to the one you married! It's even more difficult for you because it sounds like he becomes defensive when you talk about your concerns. I do wonder what is going on for him and why such a sudden change. You need to balance between the other important things in the marriage that you love, and the risk to this if you dig your heels in an insist on seeing someone professionally. I think that is it reasonable that you expect a certain amount of physical affection if this was there before and it is reasonable also to have answers as to why this has changed.

If you would like to see someone professionally, you can get a local name from the SASHA helpline 0860 100 262

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

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Our users say:
Posted by: seuntjie | 2008/09/18

jinne tannie die oomie kan seker sy " meneer" nie meer kry om behoorlik te werk nie en is dit seker die rede vir sy afsydigheid,dalk ly hy aan ED (erectile disfunction)of iets en ek dink hy sal moet gaan vir toetse,hy is seker nou skaam daaroor en is bang die tannie sien dat sy " outjie" nie meer wil saamspeel nie.Ek het nie geweet n mens kan op 55/60 nog " saamslaap"  nie !

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