Posted by: Kgoerano | 2013-02-07


I’ m thinking of dropping off my daughter (11 months) at daddy’ s work. He was maintaining the child even though baby’ s stuff came late, but it eventually came. Now nothing is coming. No nappies, no milk, no crè che fees not answering my calls, not responding to my emails and sms’ . I don’ t think I can raise this child on my own. I just cant afford

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Posted by: A proud mommy | 2013-02-08

Kgoerano you need to grow up my dear and take responsibility as a mother. I believe gone are the days when we as women plead ignorance and claim we didnt know what it takes to raise babies. Personally i would never do what you are thinking of to my baby. I still say that with or without his help my baby is not going to suffer, that my baby will lack no good thing, that hell will freeze over before i mistreat my baby in anyway. I will work my butt of and you know its said living well is the best form of revenge, so my suggestion to you is this: work hard my dear, in fact work very very hard to provide for the innocent baby you with equally responsibility brought into this world. Be a good mommy and a good role model to your child, dont embarass yourself or your baby like that. Trust me he is not worth it and remember its also said that they can take everything away from you, but not your dignity - that you freely give away. So dont give him that, walk away with your dignity intact - be a lady and your efforts will be blessed.

Reply to A proud mommy
Posted by: Myself | 2013-02-08

Amasi not necessarily, what worked for me might backfire for her. As others have said she must take care of her child and stop depending on him or take him to court for maintanance if she really can''t afford to raise the child on her own. Help from her family is another option.

I was just sharing my experience, she can use it, not use it.

Reply to Myself
Posted by: Amasi | 2013-02-08

So Myself you mean she should go on?


Reply to Amasi
Posted by: Myself | 2013-02-08

All I can say to you is I once did it, though not at his workplace. I dropped the child off at his place on Sunday evening knowing full well that he would have to do something about it on Monday cause he had work to go to. It was the most horrible feeling watching my daughter go through his gate with no toothbrush or underwear except for the clothes on her back, but it had to be done.

I must say it was effective for a while, the next day he went to pay the daycare bought her clothes and stuff, picked her up in the afternoon and dropped her off at my parents house but with everything she needed.

Though I had to go the maintanance court route a couple of months later cause I just couldn''t chase after a grown man to support his kid. My daughter is now thirteen, first year of high school, goes to one of the best schools in jhb and all because of mommy, he still pays the six hundred he was ordered by the court when she was two and he feels no shame about it. One thing I can tell you, is that man made me work hard, I worked my way up just to get back at him and now I''m just doing it for my kids and happily married.

Sorry for the long post, but take strength in your child and work hard ausi.

Reply to Myself
Posted by: Woman | 2013-02-07

Kgoerano stop your dependancy on this man. Clearly he couldnt careless. Lesson have you even tried to consider how else you and your baby can survive? Stand up and do something and stop thinking of such stupid actions.

Reply to Woman
Posted by: Amasi | 2013-02-07

Doing it at workplace is a big issue. I heard many issues that shows how effective is this.

If they want to reposses your car without any drama, they come to work and meet you at the reception who will call you. Then they say " Hi boss, we are from Wesbank to take the car. Please give us the keys and we wont cause any drama" . Voom, all is done.

If you want to impress any lady, order flowers and send them to work. You are pretty sure of good one that afternoon. Okay, I have done this many times and it works!

So to give a lifetime drama for him, she can do it at work! As I said before, it should be after she has considered all risks stated above including embarassment and custody batles.


Reply to Amasi
Posted by: Bee | 2013-02-07

Hi Lady

I understand what you going through sisi and by so doing wont solve anything but will make things worse like Anon is saying and as a single parent i suggest that you go the legal way sisi than what you thinking because at the end of the day that child did not ask fr this,

Do the right think and we both know what is the right thing or you can go to his parents house and tell them what is going and if you dont win then go to the maintanance court dear!!!

Sad yhooo i feel so sorry for you dear!!! ifind strenght in God he''s God Emmanuel in my life &  my son''s life

Reply to Bee
Posted by: DIVA | 2013-02-07

This is why the bible is set in place as a guideline to us all.
abstinence before marriage...

i bet you are one of those girls who just fell pregnant and don''t know how it happened! cause you did not plan the baby but thought in your own mind it would be a good idea to just do it.

wherever he is, he is enjoying his cash with his new girlfriend and could be bothered less about you and the baby

by the way - why can''t you afford to look after your own child?

Reply to DIVA
Posted by: I | 2013-02-07

Why would you wanna put your baby through all of that ? She''s innocent in this whole fiasco. Deal with man and not the child.

Reply to I
Posted by: Anon | 2013-02-07

This must be a lesson for everybody who let themselves fall pregnant, " Have a baby only when you can afford to."  Some baby daddies don''t take responsibility even though they are able to.

@Gatvol - Taking baby to daddy''s workplace will not only embarass him, but you as well. Also, you may end up losing the baby. The case won''t be about him not supporting the baby, but about you abandoning the baby at his workplace. Therefore, you may be judged as someone who is not capable of taking care of baby.

So what I''m trying to say is, *DO NOT DO IT.* Go the court''s route.

Reply to Anon
Posted by: ..... | 2013-02-07

Women like drama, anyway u won''t be the 1st... Y don''t u dropoff the baby at his place of residence when is there...

Reply to .....
Posted by: Amasi | 2013-02-07

Okay, it is unlikely for black guys to fight for custody. Ke a batseba


Reply to Amasi
Posted by: Amasi | 2013-02-07

I think the maintanance was voluntary.

I think you have thought about that his collegues will think you are a mad baba mama and have made peace with it. You also know that in order to avoid the same embarrassment he will never forget to make that payment.

Now, you should also know that in the unlikely case of custody battle, that matte may come (whether in your favor is another issue).

SO, go on. I wish to be a little birdy to watch that unfold


Reply to Amasi
Posted by: JT | 2013-02-07

Sorry sisi, raising kids as a single parent can be difficult. If he is paying maintenance why don''t you go to court and let them know that he has stopped?
That should catch his attention

Reply to JT

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