advertisement
Question
Posted by: FattyBoomBoom | 2012/08/02

Gastric Band

Good day Dear CS

Hope all is well?

The time for ME has now come. Everything and everyone is settled in my life and all is good except that i''m fat!

I''ve been able to safe up all they money to pay for this operation and i am having it shortly.

My problem is that i do NOT want to tell my boss what operation i am having. Firstly he is a " skinderbek"  - he loves gossip and will go from person to person and tell them " don''t tell anyone BUT" . His wife also works here and she is always checking what im eating and commenting on it - can you imagine how everyone will look at what i eat when and how. This is a silent battle that i do not want everyone to know about.

Just my husband, best friend, mother and sisters know.

Secondly by law i do not have to tell him what operation i am going for as all the doctors now a days say is " medical condition"  - yet in real life bosses pretend to care and want to know.

I don''t want to lie but i need to tell him. He also believes he is an expert in medicine. He''s the type that when one of our guys who suffers from Bipolar has a " incident"  tells everybody this guy has everything going for him and he should grow up and " get over it"  - you know the type. So if i say like the surgeon said say its for a gall bladder he''ll say oh it will be only 3 days etc.

I will be off work 5 days but you cannot drive for 10 days so it will be 10 days. I am in a high position and we need to plan for this time that im off. Wages, salaries, vat etc has to be done and no-one else can do it.

How do i handle this correctly please help.

Thanks.

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

None of us have any obligation to feed gossips. He and his wife sound like excessively nosy people. If for technical reasons, Nosy Boss needs to know something about why you are away, get a letter from your doctor saying you need to have an operation for medical reasons, and will need X days off". If they ask form more information that that, you can just say Its Personal and I'd rather not talk about it, just as I respect your privacy about your own health matters. That is NOT a rude thing to say ( though obviously, one could say it rudely ). I like Purple's suggestion that you thank him for his concern, which you so much appreciate, but that you find any discussion of health issues embarassing, and you're sure he will understand if you don't want to talk about it.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

10
Our users say:
Posted by: Purple | 2012/08/03

Your note will explain taht you need to recover from surgery. If your boss asks for details, say that you really appreciate his concern but that its a bit embarassing so you''d rather not discuss it. He will hopefully assume its a gyeacological issue and not press for further details. You''ve also not lied - you don''t want to discuss it and that''s what you''ve said.

Reply to Purple
Posted by: FBB (i like that) | 2012/08/03

Thanks Jen - you are right. Rather personal than " none of your buss"  - will leave it till monday.

Reply to FBB (i like that)
Posted by: cybershrink | 2012/08/03

None of us have any obligation to feed gossips. He and his wife sound like excessively nosy people. If for technical reasons, Nosy Boss needs to know something about why you are away, get a letter from your doctor saying you need to have an operation for medical reasons, and will need X days off". If they ask form more information that that, you can just say Its Personal and I'd rather not talk about it, just as I respect your privacy about your own health matters. That is NOT a rude thing to say ( though obviously, one could say it rudely ). I like Purple's suggestion that you thank him for his concern, which you so much appreciate, but that you find any discussion of health issues embarassing, and you're sure he will understand if you don't want to talk about it.

Reply to cybershrink
Posted by: Jen | 2012/08/02

Hi FBB! Good luck for the procedure!

With regards to the bosses, that''s why I hate family type businesses (I worked for a husband and wife for about 4 years and maaaaan was it hell)!

You will have a sick note of course from the doc, and it will say please excuse (your name here) from work while she recovers from her surgery. And that is all they legally need to know.

Don''t share more that you must with them. I was young and stupid when I worked for my boss and his wife and would sometimes pour my heart out to the wife and trust me, the wife used it against me at times (like when I wanted to go to an important family event, I told her instead of just applying for leave that day and my request to take that day off was denied as " I''ve always complained about them, why do I want to go now suddenly?" 

I know you don''t want to be rude, and they will take offense if you say it is personal, but fact is they don''t NEED to know and by saying, " it''s personal"  you aren''t being rude at all. Now if you had to tell them it''s none of their business, THAT would be rude.

Reply to Jen
Posted by: FattyBoomBoom | 2012/08/02

Thanks Just saying - i sure will keep you posted. I am so excited, i cannot tell you how scared and excited i am.

This is a huge step but i am nearing 150kg''s and i have young kids i just cannot.

Reply to FattyBoomBoom
Posted by: Just saying | 2012/08/02

Hi Congratulations on you decision to undergo this surgery. I wish you the best of everything.

While I understand that it can be very trying to not share the details of illnesses with prying bosses, just approach it by saying that you hope they will respect your privacy, and that you hope that they can understand that it''s very personal surgery and that you don''t wish to discuss the details with anyone.


Good luck and keep us posted of your progress.

Reply to Just saying
Posted by: FattyBoomBoom | 2012/08/02

We are 30 factory workers and 5 office and the two bosses are husband and wife and yeah that''s basically how it works.

But i''ll just tell them i don''t want to discuss it.

Yes another friend of mine has lost 100kg, she still weights 125kg though

Reply to FattyBoomBoom
Posted by: Maria | 2012/08/02

I''ve been at my company for 12 years when I had to go for an embarrassing gynae procedure. I just told them it''s private. That''s it. I don''t see that it''s rude. Is the norm at your company that everybody shares every intimate detail of their lives?

Good luck with the op btw. A friend of mine had it, and together with eating correctly it transformed her life.

Reply to Maria
Posted by: FattyBoomBoom | 2012/08/02

Maria, its just not that easy, i''ve worked here very long, it would appear that i am rude if i said that.

Reply to FattyBoomBoom
Posted by: Maria | 2012/08/02

Just say it''s personal and you prefer not to discuss it.

Reply to Maria

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
advertisement