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Question
Posted by: E | 2011-07-12

FWB

Hi, I met this guy and we were just going to be friends, after two months I felt this chemistry and so did he and we have not been able to keep out hands off each other. I am divorced and so is he, I spend every weekend at his place and the sex is awesome. My friends and family want to know if I am his girlfriend, it is worrying me, I try and ask him and he often says we are chinas or buddies and it really upsets me. He is kind, generous and th things we do I am sure friends dont just do. Some days I feel like telling him I am not coming back as I dont feel comfortable with the FWB thing, he calls me pet names and we SMS and e-mail every day. Is this normal in a FWB situation. I have heard him speak to his neighbours when they ask who I am and he says I am a very good friend. Why is this bothering me so much. I have told him how I feel about him, and he says for the first time in two years he looks forward to his weekends. We have been seeing each other for 4 months.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageSexologist

E, he is being quite clear that he is not investing in this emotionally in the same way that you appear to be. It sounds like you are becoming emotionally attached to someone who is not ready to do that with you yet - and with no guarantees that this will change, even if he likes you and what you do together! This can happen in FWB sitiuations, yes, and friendships can be lost over it...unless you are both in agreement about just remaining friends. Your language suggests to me that you might not be too happy to do this...

Claire - SASHA

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5
Our users say:
Posted by: fgfg | 2011-07-12

What is the problem here, the girlfriend title - people love entitlement. I tell you it will ruin the 2 of you, just because someone is not calling you wife it does not mena, they not into you.....if he is using you for sex and it is great for you too then by all means -|- me babe

Reply to fgfg
Posted by: Babes | 2011-07-12

You are his sex partner, because you also attracted to him and enjoy having sex with him, go with the flow but take Woman''s advise, use protection.
He obviously has sex with his friends, you dont need such man in your life, do you?

Reply to Babes
Posted by: Woman | 2011-07-12

No, my dear, that''s just sex. A casual fling, friendship is built over years, and is definitely not sexual. Enjoy it for what it is - a good romp in the hay. And when it''s over, it''s over. and you move on gracefully (or he does). If it was love, you would have known differently.

Please please please - this is the situation where you use condoms. This is the situation all the warnings are about, so keep yourself safe from STI and children!

Reply to Woman
Posted by: Hornyguy | 2011-07-12

He is using you for the sex. From reading your posting it seems he does not want to commit to a relationship.

Reply to Hornyguy
Posted by: Sexologist | 2011-07-12

E, he is being quite clear that he is not investing in this emotionally in the same way that you appear to be. It sounds like you are becoming emotionally attached to someone who is not ready to do that with you yet - and with no guarantees that this will change, even if he likes you and what you do together! This can happen in FWB sitiuations, yes, and friendships can be lost over it...unless you are both in agreement about just remaining friends. Your language suggests to me that you might not be too happy to do this...

Claire - SASHA

Reply to Sexologist

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