Posted by: Samantha | 2009-07-28

Future Mother-in-law rearranges home and life

I need advice on how to handle my future mother in law. She is an incredibly controling person. She always knows best, and what she says goes.
She is coming to visit next week, and I am already pulling my hair out, because she' s already mentioned what great plans she has to rearrange our living room. She rearranges the kitchen, the linen closet, and the lounge to het hearts content.

She doesn' t even abide by our rules that we have set for our pets...

She really bugs me, but I want to be able to deal with this stuff because I really love my boyfriend, and I don' t want to be THAT daughter in law how causes trouble.

Please give me tips on how to handle this situation.... or should I just tell her to leave the house as is?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Firstly, don't get married until and unless you have sorted this out in advance. Maybe you and your spouse-to-be should see a couples counsellor to sort out this and other potential problems, in advance. And tell her, BEFORE her visit, that your home is YOUR home, not hers. That while you'll listen with interest to her suggestions, you will not accept that she re-arrange your home to suit herself rather than to suit you.
If your bf won't asist in this and make it clear to her where the boundaries are, he's not man enough to marry yet

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Our users say:
Posted by: Lady Man | 2009-07-29


Reply to Lady Man
Posted by: Maria | 2009-07-28

Samantha, your boyfriend should tell his mom to leave the house as it is. If he doesn' t want to then I suggest you go for couples counselling to try and sort out his priorities. If you cannot live with a controlling mil, and he cannot cut the apron strings, then DON' T MARRY HIM, however much you love him. You will be setting yourself up for years of disappointment and frustration.

Reply to Maria

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