advertisement
Question
Posted by: anon | 2011/05/10

Future in-laws

I met this woman, we are probably getting married towards the end of the year. Problem I have, she is still very close to her ex in laws...I do understand the history, but am I gonna have to be happy and accept to be part of my wife''s ex in laws? It just does not feel right...

Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question
Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

Hmm. I have known it happen like this, and if she became friendly with her ex's o=parents, and found them supportive and kind when she divorced or separated from her ex, its understandable that she might want to keep a relationship with them. That doesn't have to be a problem for you.
What matters is the extent to which this may represent a continuing relationship between her and her ex, which of course could be problematic.
Either way, you need to discuss this calmly with her, either on your own, or with the assistance of a couples counsellor, so you both understand each other and avoid creating an unnecessary problem

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

6
Our users say:
Posted by: Truth | 2011/05/10

If there is a child the inlaws are grandparents and it would be unreasonable for your future wife not to have a relationship with her offsprings relations.
l cannot understand why you would have questioned this connection?
If you cannot accept this do not propose.

Reply to Truth
Posted by: anon | 2011/05/10

Thank you all, there is one child.
I''ll accept and try to get over it.

Reply to anon
Posted by: Truth | 2011/05/10

meant ex in laws

Reply to Truth
Posted by: Truth | 2011/05/10

Unless there are children from her first marriage a relationship with her ex is unacceptable and unnecessary.

Reply to Truth
Posted by: Sophie | 2011/05/10

Hi Anon,

I am still close to my ex-husband''s parents. They often tell me they love me. Our marriage broke up as my ex decided he was gay so there were no hard feelings between his parents and me. My current husband accepts this as it is just a friendship with them now, nothing more. Hope you will be able to accept this relationship of your wife to be as I don''t think it will be harmful.

Reply to Sophie
Posted by: cybershrink | 2011/05/10

Hmm. I have known it happen like this, and if she became friendly with her ex's o=parents, and found them supportive and kind when she divorced or separated from her ex, its understandable that she might want to keep a relationship with them. That doesn't have to be a problem for you.
What matters is the extent to which this may represent a continuing relationship between her and her ex, which of course could be problematic.
Either way, you need to discuss this calmly with her, either on your own, or with the assistance of a couples counsellor, so you both understand each other and avoid creating an unnecessary problem

Reply to cybershrink

Have your say

Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly.
advertisement