Posted by: mom_of3 | 2009-04-03

Frustrated 6 yr old


My daughter is 6 1/2 yrs old. She is very bright and is excelling in academics. She is the oldest...we have a 2 and 4 yr old too.

However, I have noticed that when she does her school work and makes mistakes she becomes so frustrated and angry with her self, like slamming her books or tossing her pencil and eraser. And she hates being corrected by anyone..she just becomes so mad. She also panics very if her younger sibling is about to do something that they are not supposed to do, she gets so mad at them and screams and even hits them. She suufers from eczema and the doc even said it is because of anxiety.

She is so young and I am worried about this type of behaviour. Like is she trying to be a perfectionist or too proud about her achievments. How can I help her to stay calm.


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Our expert says:
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OK, so she isn't handling frustration or even minor failures well. The eczema could well be related to stress and anxiety, and to this sort of perfectionism and unrealistic expectations of herself and others. Seeing a child shrink could be useful, for at least an assessment and advice on how best to manage this.

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: Me | 2009-04-03

Your daughter sounds like both my kids. Extreme perfectionists in themselves. Get angry/frustrated when they can' t do it right first time. Always want to be the leader and the best. Suffer from anxiety because they are trying so hard to be perfect. I have had both assessed by a psychologist and psychiatrist and both are ADD. I' m not saying that your child is ADD but take her to a psychologist and have her assessed. I have been doing so many things that I thought were the right thing (in most children it would be the right thing) only to learn that in my children it makes the situation worse. Over the past couple of years I can really say that I sometimes think that they are little monsters, but with help, and understanding what makes them tick, I can see light at the end of the tunnel.

My son absolutely hates change in his life. He refuses to do sport at school because he won' t do anything unless he knows he will do it well and be the best. If he does try it and he does not do very well he gets angry, starts crying, throws the equipment around and storms off the field. Teachers have been shouting at him, coaches have been shouting at him, we have become increasingly frustrated with him, and now we found out that by drawing attention to him, in any way, sets him further back each time. He needs to be encouraged to try things gently, with alot of praise and without force or anger.

It' s not easy but if you understand your childs thinking better you can improve her behaviour and help her to deal with her feelings in a more controlled way.

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