Our expert says:
Many of us assume that men always have a higher libido than women, and so when this is not the case, then women frequently feel that they are doing something wrong or are no longer attractive to their partner. Whilst relatiionship disatisfaction is a common cause of loss of libido, for men and for women, it may equally be that your boyfriend has a naturally lower libido, a physical problem related to his hormones (this would need to be checked out), or he is suffering with a psychological difficulty - high stress levels, depression, low confidence may also result in a lower libido or avoidance of sexual activity.
I strongly support your decision not to be unfaithful, and would suggest that you ask him what his thoughts about it are. It may be that he could have a physical check up to exclude physiological problems, and/or explore how to drive his response to meet more of your needs (both for affection/warmth and sexual touch). The latter would need to be done with a sex therapist - get him to call SASHA's helpline (0860 100 262) and leave his number so that our administrator can call him back with a list of professionals in your locality.
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