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Question
Posted by: Nomthandazo | 2010/02/01

Frustrated

I got married in December and we stay with my husbands 2 daughters my problem is that he does not give me even a cent but will only give me when he has given to his daughters for example money for the salon I feel he treats me like a baby and they discuss things secretly which I do not understand when I ask him he will ask me he is discussing with his kids, and the other thing he does not want me to go anywhere whenever I want to go on weekends he will go with me, I have decided to go to a flower arrangement and make-up school for the weekend so that I can be out of their sight when I am with them they will always complain about their stomach that they are hungry not that I am funny but this needs to stop. I know that I am working but a woman needs to be given money by the husband in other to see to the house things I am earning little I know but have done much in the house. The other day I was telling him that I need to buy a tombstone for my father, he said only for your father and I said yes, he wants us to open for his mother and my father but he does not want to contribute anything he just want to depend on me. Please assist what should I do

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

I understand the problem - and it shows why I recommend that people should NEVER get married until they have fully discussed all issues like this. One would assume that any man who loves a woman enough to marry her would of course recognize that she needs some money for herself and for household expenses, to treat her as an adult, to respect her interests, and so on - but as your experience shows, one cannot just assume this - we need to discuss it and confirm that our basic expectations will be met.
Are you staying with his daughters at THEIR home which they own and pay for ? Or are they staying with you ? How old are they ? If old enough, why are they not working and supporting themselves ?
I hope other readers can make some helpful suggestions

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2
Our users say:
Posted by: none | 2010/02/01

if you can stop complaining too much and start doing things for your self. don' t expect people to things for you

Reply to none
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/02/01

I understand the problem - and it shows why I recommend that people should NEVER get married until they have fully discussed all issues like this. One would assume that any man who loves a woman enough to marry her would of course recognize that she needs some money for herself and for household expenses, to treat her as an adult, to respect her interests, and so on - but as your experience shows, one cannot just assume this - we need to discuss it and confirm that our basic expectations will be met.
Are you staying with his daughters at THEIR home which they own and pay for ? Or are they staying with you ? How old are they ? If old enough, why are they not working and supporting themselves ?
I hope other readers can make some helpful suggestions

Reply to cybershrink

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