Our expert says:
These are always potential problems in this sort of situation. YOu and he need to sit down together as adults and parents and work out a basic code of conduct, set of rules, for the kids, about what is expected from them, and what they can expect from both of you, with consequences for bad behaviour and breaking these rules ( temporary loss of treats and privileges, eg ) and good consequences for keeping to the rules. And then enforce these rules TOGETHER and in the same way.
They must respect you as the person who mothers hem even if not their birth-mother, and he needs to realize that it is necessary for them, so they can grow into good people, that they have duties and chores as well as privileges and treats. I consider it to be a form of child abuse to spoil kids.
Good points raised by Liza and Really
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