Posted by: kaila,u.k | 2008-11-12

friendship affair/ whats this

ive been married for the last six years and have children, courted my husbnd dfor several years which i was very faithful all thru, then we marry and a problems begin..he begisn emotionally abusing me by manupilating my finances to better his business and work at first it was normal until he became controlling, to an extend of wanting to control my wages and having to report to him every financial transactions for him to dish out what he thinks i require and he keeps the rest.our intimacy also went down coz i was very bitter and most of the time he spends time watching t.v and even sleeps in the living room. he never used to drink now he goes out drinking at times...and is very excited over such things?many times i raised the issue of lonliness in marriage and abuse...having come from an abusive family..initially my self esteem began getting dented again. but i feel i owe this man my all coz he accepted me with a lot of my flaws due to this past issues.he says this things are petty and repeats them again and did not hit me that i was being emotionally abused till i shared this information with a friend on one of the very bad days. this friend happend to be male. since then we began sharing a lot of information and he would give a lot of positive information and support on marriage issues being married longer and being older. being very lonely i began depending on this person and would wait for e mails and any form of communication like a drug to just keep my mood up. i had met him professionally but we are not from the same country. so it felt safe that way.Then we began flirting in e mails and chat rooms and he confessed he has always been in love from the day we met whcih was like in three years back but respected me a lot. i fought the feelings because it was mutual, but having never cheated even in previous relationships i could not allow my feelings..but i needed him to be in my life as a friend.but this guy continued pursuing i was already in love with him for this written communication continued for about two years. When ofocurse we met..chemistry took better of us and we were in a position where we were alone,i kissed him and everything began...and led to intimacy anytime he or i would get a chance to travel....funny im still able to love my husband in a way,and i find myself having a lot of postive energy. because of this person,.imnot stressed anymore,he is also married...and ofocurse we have no plans of being together ever as a couple...but i really enjoy his company and it normal to deeply love two people like this coz i feel no guilt no nothing. we re both rational and we have been communication and when other people are around.....we connect in a very mysterious way with this individual what can you call this coz it has lasted now for a long time.......

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Our expert says:
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I think you really needed to unload that sad story, rather than asking a question. Normal is a weasel word, and not very helpful. It's not unusual for an emotionally abused woman to seek a relationship with someone who is kind,

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