Home > Experts > Question Question Posted by: VENT | 2013/02/13 Friends in a relationship Morning people, I just need to vent cause currently I''m falling apart. I met with this wonderful man everything was going so well, the only problem was baby mama of which I was under the impression that she got the message and had move on, only to find that I was wrong, last week friday my bf came to pick me up and we went to his place his place its close to his work they working together with baby mama so when ever I go she sees me, so on friday she saw us and she started swearing at me I kept my cool and went to the flat, shortly after that I heard noise only to find out that she is swearing again at my bf and he lost it and was just about to beat her when she ran to her friend''s flat. Now saturday morning cops came to warn him cause bby mama went to them and complaint so on monday we both went to court to make protection order and I made peace order as well. Monday morning the police came again at his work to take him in for a statement and was ordered to appear the next day which was yesterday. I asked him to go with him to court he refused saying I must go to work while his friends (female ) went with and it didn''t sit well with me. I raised it up with him and he told me that those are his friend they wanted to be there for him so he couldnt say no, I made it clear to him that Im not here to compete with his friend but just want to give him support as much as they did.My problem is that this friend of his they are too much in our relationship, she said to me that bf we me and my bf sees each other too much we must cut it to twice a week or see each other only on weekends, we need to miss each other cause now I''m forever at his place and we like married couple. On saturday we went to the funeral and I met the ex b4 baba mama I was introduced to her by him quite a nice woman, now on our way to drop the friend she was going on and on about how much she loves my ex gf and how wonderful she is and she was the one who should have been Mrs so and so, I got pissed and told her that I don''t mind her talking about her but not on my presence she then said its okay they will talk about her on my absence. Was I wrong to raise the fact that I wanted to be there for him, to support him. The last time we had sex was last week Wednesday I raised it last nite and he told me that he is not well and he doesn''t know when he will be okay, I asked if he still want me to be in his life he said yes if he didn''t he willhave told me. I really dont know what to do or say cause now I dont feel comfortable when his friend are arround as they forever with him.Sorry for the long post just need to vent. Not what you were looking for? Try searching again, or ask your own question 9 Our users say: Posted by: Wine2003 | 2013/02/13 Vent, next time when that " friend" of your BF pitches up you must tell her never to set her foot at your man''s place. Again when she talks that nonsense about his nice ex, tell her to find herself a man and stop hanging out with somebody''s man.Then address this man of your who doesn''t seem to know who comes first between you and this loonetic friend. Tell him to choose between you two as you are not prepared to play second fiddle. Be prepared not to be chosen but at the end you willnot be wasting your time on someone who doesnt love you back. Reply to Wine2003 Posted by: Petty | 2013/02/13 Your BF seems to have a lot of things going on, hence the lack of sexual desire. If you are the girl he wants to spend the rest of his life with then he shouldnt let his friend walk over you like that.You need to have a voice dear and state what you will and will not live with. As for the friend, she needs to know exactly where her place is, and it should be your man''s job to ensure she keeps to her palce. Reply to Petty Posted by: Ntate | 2013/02/13 There comes a time when each an everyone of us has to choose one way or the other for the sake of progress.Give your BF that choice now lest he waist his time with you, but importantly, your time! Reply to Ntate Posted by: .... | 2013/02/13 Love alone is blind nd can kill. Everything needs to be taken into context... It doesn''t sounds like the environment in which u found love will enable it to flourish.. If I were u, I will walk away. Reply to .... Posted by: VENT | 2013/02/13 Thank you Me me, I really appreciate your input. I will try my level best. Reply to VENT Posted by: ME ME | 2013/02/13 I say have the friend and your bf called in and tell them how you feel make it clear to the friend that you not going anywhere and that she should but out.Tell her she doesnt have to like you but she must respect your relationship.With regards to the baby mama dont scoop to her level remember less is more so just avoid her.And love your man and let him know your expectations in the relationship be supportive. see how it goes Wishing you all the best Reply to ME ME Posted by: VENT | 2013/02/13 Yes she does have a big influence on him and its driving me crazy, Me me the problem is I love him so much I dont know what to do anymore. I understand about baby mama drama but the friend is just too much for me. Do I walk away or do I stay and work things out. I feel like walking away babt mama will have won but still staying makes me look like Im desperate. Reply to VENT Posted by: me me | 2013/02/13 Sorry i meant to say his friend has a big influence on him Reply to me me Posted by: me me | 2013/02/13 My dear where there is smoke there is fire . You must investigate sounds to me like the friend doesnt like you and she wants to make it known maybe she is his friend with benefit. Just keep your eyes open. and dont let her walk all over you You did nothing wrong by telling her not to speak about the ex in your presence infact she needs to respect you.You man seems to be confused i think his ex has a big influence on him more than you think Good luck Reply to me me Have your say Your name (optional) Your comment Security × Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly. Search health advice Find an answer × Thanks for commenting! Your comment will appear on the site shortly. 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