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Question
Posted by: Dominique | 2010/11/19

Friend or Bitch?

Hi There,

My close friend lied to me about having a function at her home - obviously because she did not want to invite me.

I didn''t know about it until a guest at the function mentioned it to my father. He asked if i knew about and was shocked that i didn''t because it was a major party and like me thought that we were close friends.

I was hurt by this because she went out of her way to lie about it with a straight face the whole time before - she made it seem like someone else was organsiing a get together instead. I had no reason not to believe her.
The day of the party i phoned her and she didn''t answer only phoned back like a week later and casually mentioned that she had a function at her home and it was really cool etc.

I acted normal and did not let her know that i found out already. The weird thing i can''t understand is she seems to be pissed off with me? When i call she makes some excuse and i haven''t heard from her in a while. I should be the angry one right but its seems like its in reverse?

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageCyberShrink

There may be good reasons why someone decides not to invite you to a party, but if they are anything like a good friend, they need to explain it to you in advance. And if it's a large party, it should be obvious to them that some way you are going to learn about it and will be hurt.
At least face the fact - her behaviour reveals very clearly thatshe is NOT a good friend of yours. Move on. If you really value this friendship, then make a plan to sit calmly with her and ask where these problems arise from

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

4
Our users say:
Posted by: cybershrink | 2010/11/20

There may be good reasons why someone decides not to invite you to a party, but if they are anything like a good friend, they need to explain it to you in advance. And if it's a large party, it should be obvious to them that some way you are going to learn about it and will be hurt.
At least face the fact - her behaviour reveals very clearly thatshe is NOT a good friend of yours. Move on. If you really value this friendship, then make a plan to sit calmly with her and ask where these problems arise from

Reply to cybershrink
Posted by: Debs | 2010/11/19

I had the EXACT same problem with a couple of ''friends''. The one never invited me to her 21st, the other NEVER accepted an invite to go out. And then the one who never invited me to her 21st (didn''t even acknowlege my birthday wish to her) even had the audacity to tell me I shouldn''t be so upset about it! So you know what I said? BYE BYE!!! It really does depend on the dynamics of your relationship, how long you''ve been friends for, which friends were at this party, etc. If it was people you know, then be upset. If it was a different group of friends, maybe let it slide.

Reply to Debs
Posted by: Purple | 2010/11/19

If she is just acting like this out of the blue, then make other friends.

On the other hand, you might have inadvertantly done something to upset her and she hasn''t the guts to speak to you about it so she is withdrawing from you and hoping you''ll just go away.
If you want to stay friends with her, ask her what the matter is and why she is streating you like this. The two of you can then discuss it.

Reply to Purple
Posted by: Maria | 2010/11/19

Well, how important is this friendship to you? Either walk away and forget about it, or sit down with her and talk to find out what exactly the problem is.

Reply to Maria

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