Posted by: Jo | 2009-04-09

Friend Issues-jealousy?

I' m 14 years old and most of my friends have started getting boyfriends, including me. Often my friends ask me to come with them on dates for support, and I go. But lately their boyfriends have started choosing me over them, and this really upsets them. It' s not my fault, Im not suggestive towards them at all, I' m actually rather shy, it' s not my fault. Instead of getting angry with the guy, my firneds get mad at me. Lately when we go out to meet guys, they always prefer me, which really upsets them. They have now started lying and scheduling outings and saying things about me behind my back without me so they feel ' prettier'  and dont have competition. This really upsets me. It' s not my fault.

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Our expert says:
Expert ImageTeen expert

Hi Jo,

yes unfortunately things can get rather competitive where potential relationships are concerned, and this can be the case for a big part of the teenage years. People sometimes don't feel confident enough about themselves, and are too often comparing themselves to everyone else.

Your friends would probably feel better about this situation if they could be more accepting of themselves and therefore expect others to like them for who they are rather than constant conparisons. There is also something really important to remember - we do not own anyone and if a boyfriend wants to be with sonmeone else there is nothing you can do about that. Some people become very controlling over their partner because they think this will stop them from cheating or leaving - it often has the opposite effect.

My advice is to concentrate on feeling positive about being you, and suggest to your friends that they do the same.

Best wishes

The information provided does not constitute a diagnosis of your condition. You should consult a medical practitioner or other appropriate health care professional for a physical exmanication, diagnosis and formal advice. Health24 and the expert accept no responsibility or liability for any damage or personal harm you may suffer resulting from making use of this content.

Our users say:
Posted by: kelly | 2009-07-22

i really dont know what to do coz i' ve this friend of mine who came telling me that one of our friends (a guy) has asked her out nd i was happy for her. but before she meet this guy he was nd is still my dance partner, nd when my galfriend found out that i wouldn' t stop dancing with him she felt i' m ceahting on her nd is present not speaking to me nd also blackmailing me before our other galfriends. what do i do? coz i' ve asked the guy in question but he denies dating her. he even recently called the both of us to resolve our differences but she keep saying we can no longer get as close as before coz i snachting her guy from her. what do i do coz we both met in the guyz house, how do i handle the issue?

Reply to kelly
Posted by: Nic | 2009-04-09

Hi there. Been there, know what it feels like.
These girls are not your friends if they behave like that but they can get away with it since they still immature. I know how u feel b.coz i too also had my friends bf' s prefer to hang with me. When i was in school all my friends had bf' s &  at that point i wasn' t the most good looking person compared to all my model like friends but their bf' s &  guys in general always wanted to be around mainly b.coz of the type of person i am. I was &  still am very down to earth &  its not my fault what their bf' s do but the one thing i didnt do was date their bf' s or have any sort of intimate contact with them &  u also need to make sure u dont do anything foolish that they might hold against u. I suggest u find new friends b.coz the girls u call friends now are truly not.They probably act like drama queens thats y guys tend to want to be in ur company but u cant change how other girls are gona think of u. keep ur side clean by not doing anything with these guys, remember a true friend, which im sure u are .. will never date ur friends ex' s or current bf' s. Love the person u are &  find friends who wont do childish things like ur friends are doing now. Good Luck

Reply to Nic

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